Photo art created by Billie Jean Used with permission - Thank you BJ!
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Our private rendezvous is coming to an end
Remembering our time together
Every moment precious
Time has been our friend
These sweet memories will stay
Keeping me alive 'til one bright day
I came to find answers
to questions that are haunting
Where do I go from here?
What more does life have in store for me?
How may I use my gifts to your glory?
Tell me, how shall I continue this journey?
Even as I prepare to leave
Returning to my life
of aching arms and broken dreams
I still don’t know what the future holds
Except that I’ll be getting old!
The answers don't always seem so clear
Tell me now, so I can hear you
This life is such a mystery
Profound and deep when you hold the key
But it’s much more simple than you expect
Just keep your head up and do your best
What else can I say beyond all that?
But Love is the key that keeps you on track
And therein lies the greatest mystery of all
How can something with no shape or form
hold you upright and not let you fall?
It’s in your spirit, your very soul
The energy that makes you whole
You don’t even need your physical form
Except to take action and get the job done
Make your presence known
On this earth, in this time
And do all you can to set things straight
Make it all rhyme
You don’t even need to steer this ride
'Cause God is at the helm
Just trust... and He will guide
He is the Maestro, the Conductor of Souls
He’s the only One who really knows you…
Because He made you
Look around you, see what He’s done
It’s all as it should be, in perfect order
This masterpiece of creation
Why do you question the Maestro’s word?
Why do you doubt the ultimate power?
Just accept His love
He wants you to have it
And be about living in the light
‘til it becomes a habit!
The answer you've been seeking
lies within, if you understand it
The greatest mystery of all
isn't really a mystery
It is Love, pure and simple
Give it away...
then you will have it!
Those of us who know
We who see
We understand
We’re right where we’re supposed to be
In the light of day
In the sun’s brilliant rays
And in the moon’s glow
We just know what we know
The truth, it is written in the air
We can see it, we can feel it
No longer a mystery
It’s been already there
Our vision has changed
You see, rearranged
By the One who reflects
All our wishes and dreams
Now we see things we’ve never seen before
‘Cause that child came along and opened the door
To our sheltered places
Our comfortable spaces
Shadows danced across the floor
And for the first time we could see their faces
He shined his light in the dark
And showed us the way
He said, now you will know
What I’ve already known
And you won’t need to ask
It’s been already said
Your vision has changed
You see, rearranged
By the One who reflects
All your wishes and dreams
When you look to the moon
On this cold winter’s night
You already know, my love is in its light
A precious gift will soon be revealed
In the glow that surrounds the moon this night
Trust what you see, trust what you feel
You know what’s right
Your hopes and your dreams
They are already there in the circle of life
Take care not to fear
Take care not to doubt
Take care not to question
What this is about
You already know
What you know in your heart
My light has shown you
The way through the dark
Now you see things you’ve never seen before
‘Cause that child came along and opened the door
Your vision has changed
It's been rearranged
By the One who reflects
All your wishes and dreams
Trust what you see, trust what you feel
In the glow that surrounds the moon this night
You need only believe
You know what’s right
Your hopes and your dreams
They are already there in the circle of life
Circle of Life - The Poem: How it came to be... This poem came to be after I had received the wonderful news last week that my daughter and son-in-law are expecting their 4th child! This news by itself would be evidence of the wonderful miracle of life and God’s gift to us; however, there’s more to this story than first meets the eye. You see, their 3rd child, Asher, didn’t make it to full term. For unknown reasons, he died mid-pregnancy and his two older brothers, Aidyn and Avery, would never have the privilege of playing with their little brother whom they were so excited to meet. As with my first two grandsons, I was with my daughter, Kendra and her husband, Matyas, at the hospital on October 1, 2009, for the delivery of our little doll, Asher. We knew he was not alive, so it was a very emotionally intense experience for all of us, but especially Kendra. As she brought forth this precious little being that her body had so lovingly caressed for 4½ months, but who was not to be in this world, she also lost Hope. I saw the light go out in her soul and, as her mother, I felt so helpless to do anything for her. I couldn’t take her pain away. It’s not the same as kissing a 'boo-boo' and making it all better as you do for them when they are young. This was a deep, deep pain that she had to work through herself to come to terms with her grief and anger over this unexplainable loss. I lent my love and support and faith in whatever ways I could in the weeks and months that followed; but, as any mother of a grown child knows, you have to allow them space and time to work things out for themselves - to find their own answers and their own peace in their own time. They may not realize it at the time, but it’s how we love them.
Kendra and Matyas were undecided for some time after October of 2009 as to whether they would try for another child. There was even a period of time when it looked as if it wasn't going to happen. For a while Kendra's grief was intensified by not only the loss of little Asher, but the loss of the possibility of another child. Well, as you know, there IS another child on the way! On the evening of January 17, Kendra shared the good news with me when I was at their house for a visit. I was thrilled, of course, but also filled with concern for her and how she was handling this emotionally. She and I talked for a long time that night about worry, doubt and fear and all I could say to her was "God knows what He's doing... please trust in that!" I was afraid to say "everything's going to be fine" because I really didn't know that, and I didn't want to assure her of something that was yet uncertain. I have no way of predicting the outcome any more than she does, but what I can do is share my faith with her...so I did.
A little later when I left to go home, I stepped outside and, looking up as I always do to find our little moonwalker, I noticed the nearly full moon shining brilliantly through a porthole in the sky. There was a HUGE ring of dense fog around the moon, larger than any I had ever seen. Inside the ring the sky was so clear and bright, I could see all the stars surrounding the moon. It was as if the moon had burned off the fog to create this porthole so I could see it...just for that moment (it was gone by the time I got home.) The sky outside the ring was foggy so the only clear spot was inside the ring and the whole picture looked 3-dimentional! I was mesmerized by this beautiful scene and I stood there for several minutes just absorbing its magic. The first thing that came to mind as I was looking at this miracle of nature was "Circle of Life"... it was HUGE and it was complete, the full circle representing eternity and the ongoing reproduction of life. When I realized what that meant, I started to cry and, looking at the circle again it felt like a big hug...something I'd been asking for in my prayers lately. It was wrapping its arms around me and making me feel warm and secure on this cold winter's night. A beautiful gift of love - like everything was coming full circle and I knew it was going to be alright!
I drove home feeling as if I wanted to call Kendra immediately and tell her of this experience and the powerful sense of assurance I had received. But there was a nagging feeling of concern too that was hanging over me at the same time. I didn't want to give her a false sense of security, because I knew that I still didn't have concrete answers...just a feeling. I also realized that "everything's going to be alright" could mean a variety of things and didn't necessarily guarantee a healthy, full-term baby of the desired gender! I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning.
When I arrived home I noticed the ring around the moon was gone, so I went inside and spent some time on my computer checking messages and reading over a couple of my blog posts from around Christmas time. When I read the December 17 post, "A Christmas Story: Yours and Mine", I was moved all over again by the story in the song "Old City Bar." It was somewhat related to this 'encounter' I'd had with the circle around the moon. http://mjreflecdtionsheart2heart.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmas-story-mine-and-yours.html
Soon after reading this post, I fell asleep in front of my computer and woke up around 4:00 a.m. with these words in my head: "Those of us who know, Those of us who see, Those of us who understand, We're right where we're supposed to be." That's when I wrote "The Circle of Life". A few days later, I sent it to Kendra, telling her about how the poem came to me and my feeling that everything was going to be alright, adding this:
"Now, what that means, I don't know. I just know we need to trust in God's timing and His love for us no matter what. That's all God asks us to do. If we can let go of our doubts and fears, then we will see that everything in our lives (yes, even the pain and suffering) holds a gift. Being able to trust when you've been hurt so deeply isn't easy... I know, and God knows too. Letting go and handing over the reigns when you have felt betrayed is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do! It's not that you don't have ANY control over the outcome...you can do everything in your power as a human being to take care of yourself and seek the medical and emotional support that you need to ensure having a healthy pregnancy and to increase your chances of having a healthy baby. This is something you do very well, my dear, and I have every confidence you will do it again this time. All the rest is prayer and trust in God's love for you and your family.
"I knew right away I wanted to share this poem with you, but again I hesitated only because my own doubts started to creep in after some time had passed (as they often do!) and I didn't want to give you 'false hope'. After a little more time, I thought 'There is no such thing as FALSE Hope! Hope is HOPE... and Hope is good! Hope is one of God's wonderful gifts - if we don't have Hope, we have nothing!' It is true that sometimes our hopes are not realized, but that is where the trust comes in...and the believing in God's love no matter what.
"So, I've listened to that little voice inside and decided to send you this poem. I hope this touches you, honey, and gives you comfort and HOPE! What this poem did for me was to confirm my own intuition, the feelings I had when I looked at the moon and the words "Circle of Life" came to me and I felt that warm hug of assurance that everything was going to be alright. So I'm passing that assurance on to you." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My friends - Now you know....the ressst of the story! (as Paul Harvey used to say)
I am filled with Hope for a beautiful healthy new baby in our family! Please join me in that Hope and in continuing our mission to create a better world for our children and grandchildren to live in! Trust your intuition and use it to be the best that you can be at whatever talents God has gifted to you! And always...put some Love back into the world each day, as Michael so faithfully did throughout his entire life. The Circle of Life continues - generation after generation. And if each generation can help to make things just a little bit better, someday this world may realize Michael's dream of peace, love and joy for all the world's children!
Light of my life
Hope of my soul
Desire of my heart
Who knew it would be you?
And that you would be who you are?
To the world
To the children
To the heavens and the earth
Of Sacred worth
In communion with all that you are
Mystic... Shaman... Angel of God
Love personified
Dreams electrified
High art in human form
Mystery of our time
Power sent forth to heal the world
Dancing the dream
You endured such pain
Body and blood, heart and soul
Given to heal our sickness
Would take its toll
Our shadow was to blame
Now, we bow our heads in shame
Who knew it would be you?
Brilliant light cast upon the earth
Touching souls
Collecting and gathering
We, your children, into the fold
Before you would exit
Leaving us to be
Your messengers of love
To carry on your dream
Of a world filled with peace
Joy and harmony
Who knew it would be Us?
We are your children
Your chosen ones
Are we up to the task?
Do we have what it takes?
Do we even need to ask?
It's time to take the world by storm
To make truth and justice simply the norm
No more questions
No more doubts
It's time to teach the world
What this thing is all about
With love at the core of all we do
We'll be your voice
We'll tell them...
It was You!
It was you who believed in us all along
That's why you never stopped singing your song
You knew it would be us
Your love was the fuel
Igniting this fire
You knew we'd make a fuss
And carry on your desire
Mystic... Shaman... Angel of God
Love personified
Dreams electrified
Light of our lives
Hope of our souls
Power sent forth to heal the world
Who knew it would be you?
As we begin this season of waiting to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I would like to offer a series of poems and reflections based on the weekly themes of Advent - the first theme being HOPE. The following poem was published in an Advent devotional booklet for my church this year which was written entirely by its members. I am pleased to share it with you here. I fully respect and honor the diversity of beliefs that make up our colorful world - a world that is filled with beautiful and unique individuals, all a part of God’s magnificent Creation. No matter what your beliefs, I think most will agree that there is a power which is greater than ourselves at work in the universe - a power grounded in a great love. My heart extends its warmest wishes to you during this season of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love!
Remember the Gift
Holy Spirit come, fill me with your love
wash over me, enlighten me, strengthen my belief in Thee
I need discipline to travel, this mystery of life to unravel
I vow to give my best, take time to nurture my faith
let it simmer while I wait
‘til Your guidance reveals which path to take
God of love and compassion
through my trials you have been my constant companion
but my patience is tested when it’s time for a rest
in my prayers I seek answers to my questions
You don’t always lead where I want to go
Your timing is not always mine
please give me the courage to believe what you know
My Creator,
You gave me fire in my spirit
then said, don’t fear it!
be bold, be brave, share the love which I gave you
it is true, it is right
it’s your beauty, your passion, your own special light!
This life is such a mystery
