Give Me Your Wings So We Can Fly!

Occasionally one of Michael's songs which I have listened to faithfully over the last year and a half will suddenly take on a new meaning for me as the lyrics resonate with something deep in my soul - something that decides it is time to come into the light and make itself known. Lately, I've been listening to the album "Michael" almost exlusively since it came out in December. I can't seem to get enough of it! The more I listen to it, the more I want to hear it all over again. As with all of Michael's music, there just seems to be something about it that you want to absorb into every cell of your being. The very essence of him - his message, his love for us and his concern for humanity - is present in every single song! The lyrics, the beat, the melody, and of course, his amazing voice in its every unique expression pulls you in and holds you there. I love to sing along too, so each time I hear a song I pick up a few more lyrics that I'm able to recite along with him, until I know it well enough to belt it out confidently, sometimes singing harmony and other times the melody depending on the range of the parts. (Michael can reach notes much higher than I can!) It is only when I have learned the entire song that I can truly enjoy the experience of being his vocal partner in a duet made just for Michael and me! :)
But I digress...

In recent weeks, I've been particularly drawn to "Keep Your Head Up" and "Best of Joy." From the comments published in the CD cover, we know that Best of Joy is a song Michael wrote for all of us. And, of all the songs on the album, it is the one that was written and recorded most recently - in early 2009. It warms my heart every time I hear him sing "I am the moonlight, You are the spring, Our love's a sacred thing, You know I always will love you...

I am forever, We are forever!" God bless him! It's almost as if he knew we were going to need to hear those words after he was gone. In fact, many of his songs are like that - even those from decades past. There's just something about much of his music over the years that feels as if it was created in preparation for this time, you know? Inviting us into a love relationship with him that would last forever, and inviting us to join him in his mission to heal the world.

"Keep Your Head Up" also feels like such a song. To me, it's not just about a single mother struggling to live day-to-day or paycheck-to-paycheck. The message is directed at any one of us who may feel uncertain, overwhelmed, lost or hopeless at any time in our lives, but especially on this journey with Michael. It's a message from him to give us strength to keep going when we may feel like giving up; because he knew the challenges we would face in attempting to make a change in this world, and he wanted to give us something to lift our spirits and bring us hope, encouraging us not to give up. He briefly mentions the plight of the planet and adds "It's never too late - just lean on me... Keep your head up, Don't give up today." And his final plea to all of us "I need your love, I need you now, I need your light right here today, I need you now!" while the chorus is singing about the sun shining it's light on us today, tells me he is urgently pleading with us to stay strong and to let our lights shine in the world... NOW! Had Michael been able to finish this song himself, I believe this is where his voice would have increased in intensity to reflect the urgency of the message. As it stands, the words speak for themselves and deliver the message just as powerfully: He needs us to be present and actively doing something... anything to make a contribution toward healing this planet.

The chorus of this anthem gives us a clue as to how we are to accomplish this:

Keepin' your head up to the sky
Keepin' your mind up stay alive
Give me your wings so we can fly

Keepin' your head up to the sky
We can just rise up, tell me now
Give me your wings so we can fly

Looking up to the sky has become a daily habit of mine. I do it every chance I get. I have found many treasures there and I always feel a strong connection to Michael when I do. The moon and the stars, cloud formations, sunbeams, rainbows, sunsets and sunrises, birds in flight... these things all carry a message or a special meaning that only a true Michael lover would understand. Michael himself found much inspiration in looking to the sky while considering all the possibilities in the universe that lie within our vision... and beyond. He was spiritually in tune with all of it. It nourished him and kept his creativity fresh and divinely dazzling. I, too, have felt this sense of connection and nourishment and have written several poems inspired by the things I've witnessed there. To me, the sky is God's canvas to paint as He chooses with colors and images of things and concepts that many an artist, writer and poet have found fascinating - whether for pure and simple enjoyment of the beauty of it or to possibly relay a message hidden in the context of the art. Metaphors abound if one is open to recognize them, and one can easily be caught in the spell of love, power, light, majesty, and awe-inspired story as told by the Creator of Heaven and Earth. It's where magic lives. I really believe Michael exists there. It's only natural, considering everything we know about him and his soul. He was and is, above everything else, an artist to his very core - a creative genius unlike any other we've ever known. His own unique expression through his art will never be duplicated, and the lengths to which he explored and was willing to go in order to take us on his adventure were unlimited!

In the verses of the chorus above, he encourages us to keep our heads up to the sky (where we will find our strength and inspiration.) And when he sings "Give me your wings so WE can fly"... he means just that. He needs our help to continue his work in the world ("I can't do it by myself... gonna take somebody's help"), and he's given us all the tools we need in his music. He holds us up with his words and his love, but he does not enable us to depend on him. He wants us to shine our own light in the world, because he knows we all have that capability. He lifts us up to help us find our own light, spread our own wings and tap into our own power to fly, and he will be flying right there with us. His message is that together, with our combined light and love, we can accomplish great things!

I'm the kind of person who has always been most comfortable hanging out in the background. Being a cog that helps the machine function effortlessly is what I do best. Taking care of logistics, details, paperwork, and anything else that needs doing in order to make a project run smoothly has been my job... in my career and in my personal life. Although my high school counselor said I was a leader among my peers, I didn't see myself that way. And, until recently, I didn't see myself as the creative type either. Oh, I had creative skills and ideas which I never hesitated to share with those who were 'in charge.' I didn't think twice about allowing them to take full credit for my ideas. To me, it was safer that way because if the idea failed, it would be on their shoulders, not mine! Nice cop-out, eh? I had an unreasonable fear of criticism, and I would be terribly embarrassed to be caught in the spotlight, even if I were to be caught doing something remarkable. But mostly I feared making a mistake for all to see because I'm a perfectionist (much like Michael) and any little error made in front of others would surely send me running to the hills to hide out in shame for the rest of my life! (I told you my fear was unreasonable.) So..... for most of my life, I played it safe. And because of this, I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I probably could have out of sheer terror of getting it wrong. Nor have I been able to reach outside of myself to help others for the same reason. This is where being a perfectionist pulled me down, unlike Michael whose perfectionism allowed him to soar to extraordinary heights and shine his light far beyond anything we could ever imagine. He is a beacon of brilliant light to all of us who have experienced pain and hardship in our lives and have allowed it to hold us back. By his example of courage and perseverance, and with his unconditional love for each of us, he has inspired us to spread our wings and fly... to let our lights shine before others!

Not long after this journey with Michael began, I had a dream that Michael came to the place where I work and was going to put on a concert there. Before the concert started, I was busily working in the background doing what I do best, making sure all the necessary things were in place so that everything would run smoothly. I remember distinctly the moment Michael arrived and he began warming up on stage. I stopped what I was doing long enough to watch this musical genius at work from across the room. Even in my dream he had a presence about him that was indescribable - I could feel it - and right now as I'm typing this, I am in tears remembering what it felt like to be in the same room with him. I was in awe!! And I stayed just far enough away and slightly out of sight so he wouldn't see me watching (or so I thought.) I would have been horribly embarrassed if he'd even looked my way! Soon, I busied myself again with my work and I didn't notice when he came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I knew it was him before I even turned around. I caught my breath and held it there for a moment (very much like the breath Michael took in "The Way You Make Me Feel" video when he first saw the beautiful girl - I love that moment!) I summoned all my courage, composed myself and turned around to face him. He was stunning! Right there in front of me! And my knees felt like they were going to buckle under at any moment. But I remained surprisingly calm and waited for him to talk first. He then invited me to come up front with him. He asked me to introduce him when the concert started and he wanted me to join him in singing the opening song! I was flabbergasted by his request, wondering how he even knew that I could sing, and all I could say was... "What about my job? I have work to do." And he said, "Give it to her", pointing to a woman across the room who looked a little lost, as if she was wanting something to do. "She needs something to do and she can handle it just fine." So, I said "Alright, as long as you don't make me dance!" and, after giving the woman a few instructions, I joined Michael on stage. I woke up about this time in the dream. I don't remember doing the introduction or singing with him, but that wasn't the point. The point of this dream, for me, was that he was inviting me to share my light up front for all to see. He seemed to see something in me that I didn't see in myself, and simply because he noticed, he gave me permission to shine... without fear... to spread my wings and fly!!! And the fact that he knew I could do this without even knowing me, gave me the courage to do it. He took me out of my comfortable place of hiding in the background where it was safe and he lifted me to a place of prominence where my gifts could be shared with others, bringing joy and inspiration just as he has done his entire life. This dream represents everything he has done for me since he cracked my heart wide open in the summer of 2009.

Now, all this talk about shining and flying brings me to the reason I started writing this piece to begin with! After contemplating the lyrics to these two beautiful and very meaningful songs, "Best of Joy" and "Keep Your Head Up", I knew it was time for me to share a couple of poems I'd written in the last year about flying. The first one "If I Could Fly" reminds me of "Best of Joy" simply because it's a joyful and playful piece. One that reflects a feeling of pure joy and abandon at imagining what it would feel like to be able to fly. I wrote it in July of 2010 when I was on one of my ocean retreats as I watched the seagulls playing in the air currents on a very windy day at the beach. I used to have dreams about flying and, to this day, I still remember what it felt like to soar above the earth. It was incredible! Somewhere along the path of my life, I stopped having those dreams, and this poem was, in a sense, a re-capturing of that feeling of being able to soar and command the air in flight.

Photo taken by C. Burgess at Brookings Harbor, Oregon coast

If I Could Fly

If I could fly
Like a seagull flies
Dipping and swooping
Playing with the wind

Surfing
On a wave of air
With total abandon
Never a care

Perched atop a rock at sea
I would plan my strategy

Which way to go
To get the best lift
Make the wind carry me to the sky
Then swoop to the ground
Like falling off a cliff

Gliding with precision
So close to the ground
Like an airplane
Coming in for a landing

A roller coaster ride
On a windy day
It’s by far the best time to play

Going with the flow
I’d swing and I'd sway
Let the wind have its way
Like a kite with no strings

This must be
What it feels like
To be totally and utterly free!

07/05/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

The second poem "Just Do It!" reminds me more of "Keep Your Head Up" in that it's about taking a leap of faith - without thinking about it too much - just taking off and flying, allowing myself to soar to the heights God intended. I wrote this poem at my ocean retreat in December 2010. I was eating breakfast at the resort where I was staying, watching the seagulls take off from their perch on the rooftop of a nearby building. I had been feeling somewhat "stuck" in recent weeks leading up to this retreat and I was looking to find some answers and fresh inspiration to move forward on this journey. Watching these seagulls take off without a thought, simply because it was natural to them, is what inspired this piece.

Just Do It!
Up high, so high
I can’t even see the sky
‘Cause I’m in it!
There is no limit to what I can do
If I believe…
Just do it!

Impossible, you say?
I don’t think so
There is always a way
Turned on by the power of love
I can do anything
Once I choose to move
Into the groove

Thanks to you, dear one
Your love lights up the sky
Even on a cloudy day
I don’t need to ask why

Birds in flight
Show me how it’s done
They just take off
Without a thought!
It’s natural to them, you see
God gave them wings
To fly above me

To me he gave a spirit to fly
Above the clouds
So high in the sky
So I could see the world below
Its beauty and pain
So I would know

My heart and soul say
Step aside, make some room
For love to enter the atmosphere
No more doom and gloom!

Up high, so high
I can’t even see the sky
‘Cause I’m in it!
There is no limit to what I can do
If I believe…
Just do it!

12/31/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

My hope and prayer is that we will ALL continue to experience Michael's "Best of Joy" on this journey, being the very best that we can be for God, for Michael and for ourselves - and also sharing our light right here today and spreading our wings so WE can fly together with him! If we continue to do this... I mean really DO this, not just talk about it... we will achieve his ultimate dream, heading toward that bliss which Michael has written so much about, doing our part to make this world a better place... for God... for Michael... and for the children. 

 

Remember The Gift

As we begin this season of waiting to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I would like to offer a series of poems and reflections based on the weekly themes of Advent - the first theme being HOPE. The following poem was published in an Advent devotional booklet for my church this year which was written entirely by its members. I am pleased to share it with you here. I fully respect and honor the diversity of beliefs that make up our colorful world - a world that is filled with beautiful and unique individuals, all a part of God’s magnificent Creation. No matter what your beliefs, I think most will agree that there is a power which is greater than ourselves at work in the universe - a power grounded in a great love. My heart extends its warmest wishes to you during this season of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love!

Remember the Gift
Holy Spirit come, fill me with your love
wash over me, enlighten me, strengthen my belief in Thee
I need discipline to travel, this mystery of life to unravel
I vow to give my best, take time to nurture my faith
let it simmer while I wait
‘til Your guidance reveals which path to take

God of love and compassion
through my trials you have been my constant companion
but my patience is tested when it’s time for a rest
in my prayers I seek answers to my questions
You don’t always lead where I want to go
Your timing is not always mine
please give me the courage to believe what you know 

 

My Creator,

You gave me fire in my spirit

then said, don’t fear it!

be bold, be brave, share the love which I gave you

it is true, it is right

it’s your beauty, your passion, your own special light!

So, why must I wait, this flame to embrace?

Remember the Gift, the sweet Kiss of Love

Magical Child sent to earth from above

your soul to save from its own mistakes

His arms outstretched, ready to embrace

awaiting your surrender to God’s amazing grace!

The Gift accepted, my soul awakens

this waiting, this nurturing reveals the message

Peace, Love and Hope abide within each soul

the Gift cannot be denied

I must strive to be God’s Glow

a voice of Hope to a world in need of Love

11/21/10

Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

That Smile

 
That Smile

Magical

Enchanting

It lights up a room

Changes the atmosphere

Obliterates gloom

Piercing my defense

It invites me to dance

Sends love on a journey through my soul

Bathes me in light

Gives me courage to take a chance

Joy and tenderness

Reflected from within

An offering, a gift from your heart

Shining through the veil of shadow

It opens the door

Becomes a part of me

Extends an invitation to make a new start

That smile could end wars

Dispel hatred and fear

Bring peace throughout the land

A simple gesture bestowed in love

Creates harmony

Bids all people of the world to walk hand in hand

Accept it

Embrace it

Absorb its light

Let it warm your soul

Feel it down to your bones

Hear its music

Move to its rhythm

Take that chance

Open your heart

Invite others to join in the dance

Allow that smile to work its magic

As a flame ignites a burning love

Melting hearts around the world

A gem that sparkles and shines

Transforms humankind

Like a grain of sand turned into a pearl

That smile…

Created to beguile

To inspire, to delight

Brings darkness to its knees

And offers LOVE to light up the night

11/23/10

Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

     

Here to Stay

“O Christmas Sun! What holy task is thine!

To fold a world in the embrace of God!”

~ Guy Wetmore Carryl ~

Christmas Day 2009...Six months since Michael's death. Six months of extreme emotions and still not understanding it all. Why was his death affecting me so powerfully? And why was I persistently compelled to learn more about this man, and driven to dig deeper with every discovery? I didn't know the answers to these questions, but I did know that God was moving mountains inside of me, and there had to be a very good reason. The love that was growing in my heart for a man I never knew was very real and intense. The palpable reality of a world in need of change along with a growing awareness that I was somehow to play a part in its healing became more apparent to me as time went on. But I still didn't understand the "How?" or the "Why?" of it. And, to add to this challenge, there was a nagging, shadowy doubt that would visit me frequently along this path, causing me to question the validity of my experience. In spite of that, a part of me knew that no matter how confused I was about all of this, I just needed to believe, and to know that God would reveal what I needed to know when I needed to know it.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I had been feeling called to the ocean. The last time I was near the ocean was about a week after Michael’s death, when I bought his “Number Ones” CD and began listening to his music again after many years without it. I drove through the majestic Redwoods and all along the Northern California coastline while listening to him sing to me those familiar tunes...his passion and energy infusing itself into the deepest part of my soul! I had forgotten how powerful that energy was - it was beginning to work its magic on me once again, touching me and opening my heart after years of living in a self-imposed protective bubble. It was the beginning of a remarkable journey of discovery for me. It was also the beginning of my extreme grief over his loss - to myself and to the world.

A private coastal retreat over the Christmas holiday in 2009 would prove to be a major turning point on this journey. Michael's spirit touched me in a way that is difficult to explain. Three days entirely devoted to communing with nature...meditating and talking with God...listening to Michael's music...and writing daily journal entries after 6 months of intense grieving and soul awakening moments, would set the stage for a remarkable spiritual experience and an unwavering connection to Michael. He found a way to let me know in a very personal and clear manner that not only was this connection very real, but also that he wasn't going anywhere - that he would stay with me through this experience and I could count on it! I felt in my heart as if Michael's commitment was God's gift to give me strength for the journey ahead.

The day I was to return home from my ocean retreat was the day I wrote my very first poem. It was short and sweet, a simple verse, but the words flowed through me like running water. I'd never had that experience before and it was quite profound! I cherished that little verse because I thought it was the only poem I would ever write - my "Christmas Sun" miracle - but God and Michael had other plans for me. This new gift of writing was also here to stay!

O Christmas Sun

O Christmas Sun, My Love, My Light
You’ve given me strength to endure the night
In a fleeting moment you did appear
You gave me hope, took away my fear
You touched my soul, so deep, so true
And brought me joy at the sight of you
Your heart is warm, your beauty bright
Your gift is Love, My Sun, My Light!
~
Forever and Always, Michael…
“I thank God!”
~ Charlene ~

12/28/09
Copyright © 2009 by Charlene Burgess

Several months and many poems later, on a beautiful spring day in March, I went to a local park on my lunch break. Enjoying the warmth of the sun as well as the sights and sounds of children playing, I was inspired to write the following poem...

Here To Stay

It's a beautiful Spring day
The leaves of April are on their way
The sun warms me through and through
Love so intense coming from you

Reminds me of that Christmas Day
Not so long ago
You let me know
You were here to stay

You offered your light
and said, "Let it be
your strength… forthright…your soul set free!
Share the warmth with tender care
And remember...
Love is the temptress, the gentle snare

When challenged, hold fast,
shine your light,
be true to yourself, you know what's right
Your soul was created to carry this cross
With courage and vision, commitment to the cause

Facing down your doubts and fears
when those who judge come forth to jeer
Confronting, challenging the truth as you know it

Just breathe…
Remember the love...
Remember to show it."

I will call forth the lessons you left behind
For others to hear
Change their minds
Their hearts transformed, no longer conformed

Love is the weapon of choice to use
In defense of your voice, my heavenly muse
Your beauty, your courage, displayed through me
The Gift illuminated for all to see

Higher expectations, raising the bar
You’re still getting our attention from afar!

You knew that, didn’t you?…goin’ in
Your light would be forever stayin’
In the hearts of those who’d be your messengers
The legend to tell…your truth…lessons learned

Children at play
On this beautiful day
Remind me of all you stood for
Their souls so pure
Would be the lure
Your music inspired, to open the door

Help us to see the need that exists
To care for and love them without remiss
Value their souls, so they can be
Happy and whole, their very best

You've asked us to nurture
These little ones
So close to God
For they are the hope of the future
Why would anyone consider this odd?

They will carry your message, your perfect love,
for generations to come
They’ll see the world become a better place
Turn this one ‘round, change its face!

Years from now when I look back
To see what kept me on track
The sun warming me through and through
Love so intense coming from you
I’ll remember that Christmas Day
So long ago
When you let me know
You were here to stay

03/19/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess