MJ Reflections

Saturday, July 24, 2010

King of My Heart

I’ll bring you anything you ask for
Nothing is beyond my reach
I’ll gather the stars
Lay them at your feet
Or place them gently on your head
Like a crown of jewels fit for a king
Diamonds and rubies
Sparkling and shimmering

 I want to change the world
Only for you
Tell me what to do
Your wish is my command
Anything you ask for
I will make a plan
To love the children
Seek the truth
Heal the planet
What must I do
To see this through

I’ll bring you anything you ask for
Nothing is too high
I’ll pull the moon down from the sky
Place it on your pillow
To keep you warm at night
I’ll sing you a lullaby
And hold you ‘til the morning light
King of my heart
I will never part

Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Wandering Beach Ball

Journal Entry -
July 3, 2010

On this first day of my coastal retreat, I was sitting on a log on the beach with my back to the wind. I had just finished writing a poem and I stopped for a moment to enjoy watching the waves. The wind was so strong this day, there weren’t many people on the beach, so I was pretty much alone.

Thinking out loud, I said “What do you think Michael? This is pretty amazing, huh? Even with the wind blowing sand everywhere (it was piling up, even in my ears) at least it’s not foggy or rainy. The sky is a brilliant blue and it’s a beautiful day! The ocean is as glorious as ever!”

My mind started to wander and I was thinking about how much I’ve aged this past year with everything that’s been going on...seriously! You know, the emotional toll of it all. It’s been a roller coaster ride of emotions! And losing sleep - not because I can’t sleep, but because I don’t want to. I want to absorb everything about this experience! It truly has been an “awakening” of my soul. But, the heaviest emotional toll of all, I think, is that I still hurt so much for Michael and all the cruelty he endured. I’m so discouraged by the darkness of humanity. And sometimes I feel helpless to do anything to make it better. I cannot change the past for Michael, and the future is not clear. How can one person sitting alone on the beach make the world a better place? How can one person change the atmosphere on this large ball of matter called Earth? How does one person take away some darkness and add a little more light to this big wide world? How did Michael do it? I don’t know if I can! In my hopelessness and pain, I started to cry - (again!) - I‘ve been doing a lot of that in the last twelve months…

Then… jolting me out of my despair with impeccable timing, my oh-so serious thoughts were interrupted by a small beach ball rolling up from behind me along the shoreline! It startled me at first, then I turned to see if its owner was following along behind. There was nobody chasing after it - it was all by itself! Someone had obviously lost it to the wind. It continued to roll past me, skipping and hopping, like it had a life of it’s own - it was on a playful stroll down the beach! Since it was a small ball, I realized it must have belonged to a small child. My thoughts immediately went to Michael. Then it hit me - this was a little hint from him! A tap on my shoulder to say “stop, and pay attention.” A sweet and playful nudge reminding me to lighten up - to play - to capture the joy! Seeing that ball skip and hop down the beach, I started laughing from my belly and it felt so good! I watched as it continued its journey along the shore. It surprised some people on its way, sneaking up behind them - and each time I laughed some more. It was as if Michael, ever the prankster, was having fun with this wandering ball on the beach and I was his captive audience. Oh, what joy!

A little more light just entered the atmosphere.

Thank you Michael! Now, I cry tears of gratitude and joy…for the laughter…for all you have given me…for your belief in me…for coming around and touching me in unexpected ways every time I’m about to give up. You don’t know what that means to me!

Well, maybe you do… :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

A Walk On the Beach

Photo by C. Burgess
Gold Beach, Oregon

Driftwood and tree trunks
scattered about
Delivered to shore
like a gift, an offering
for us to explore
Makes me wonder...
Where do they come from,
and how do they get to the sea?

Waves crash upon the beach
with steady rhythm
Heartbeat of the sea
Speaks to me of life beyond...
another world unknown to me
Explorers have tried
to penetrate its soul
To solve the mysteries
of stories untold

Do you think there are angels in the sea,
watching over God’s creatures,
guiding the way...
loving and caring for those that stray?
I’d like to think they are not alone
That some sweet angels
are there to protect
Keep them from harm
when man disrespects

The wind reminds me
of Who’s in charge
Even the waves
respond to the power
Bowing their caps,
curling and leaning
With utmost respect
to Creation’s King

The sun glitters and sparkles
on the sea’s great belly
Casting its light...
Like a billion stars
in the sky of another world below
I wonder, do they know,
the creatures of the sea...
That there is another sky
with another billion stars
that reaches beyond infinity?

Reminds me of Heaven
and all the places of mystery

God calls me here
to the edge of another world
To remind me of His power,
His love and majesty
No other place
has ever shown me
Like the sea
and all its mystery

Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Coastal Retreat - In Memory of Michael

Journal Entry -
July 3, 2010

It was this time last year that Michael’s magic and energy started to penetrate my soul. I went for a drive through the northern California Redwoods and along the coastline over the 4th of July weekend, just a week after he died, listening to his music all the way. It was then that I began to feel something happening within me that I couldn’t explain. His spark, his light…..his love was working its magic on me! And thus began an amazing adventure of discovering the truth and all the complexities of this man, along with the painful awareness of his life and trials. A love so great like none I had ever experienced has grown and flourished over the last year, inspiring me to go to places I never dreamed I would or could go, much less embrace! As I've grown to know Michael Jackson, the man, more personally I have been inspired to reflect his light in my life and in the world. He has shown me my own light and helped me to find my true worth, giving me a sense of purpose and the courage to face some very daunting demons from my past. I owe him my life for being such a beautiful example of love, courage, grace and dignity in the face of the most evil and the absolute darkest of humanity that anyone could ever encounter! It is only fitting that I take time to honor him on this one year anniversary of my “awakening." And what a journey it’s been! A roller coaster ride of emotions from the beginning - and the ride continues!

As I head to the coast once again for a three day retreat in Michael's memory, I look forward to all the sights and sounds the ocean has to offer. Listening to the ocean waves crash upon the shore and experiencing the vastness of God’s creation is such a humbling experience and it makes me even more aware of God’s huge love! It helps me to put things in perspective and to be reminded of the many blessings I’ve received.

Hopefully I can gather some strength and courage to continue on this challenging path. As wonderful as it has been to have this connection with this amazing man, it has also been one of the most complex times of my entire life. Learning to discern the truth from lies when it comes to Michael Jackson is not always easy, and I have become an expert at compartmentalizing every little piece of information that comes my way. Anything that gives him the honor and praise he so deserves for his lifetime of good works and sacrifices is always welcomed and filed away for future reference whenever I need a boost or endurance for the journey.

Perceived lies and half-truths are ignored and shoved aside (along with a prayer) in an attempt to prevent the darkness they carry from permeating my soul and that of others around the world. I will not participate in or acknowledge such hate directed at the world’s finest example of love and purity we’ve known in this lifetime.

But, perhaps the most difficult to discern are the subtle comments and innuendos that are woven into what appears to be a tribute, especially from one who claims to have been a friend. I have a hard time understanding how a true friend can justify implying anything negative or improper about one who gave the world everything of himself for his entire life. The fact that they cannot see the overall good - forgetting any mistakes or times of weakness, which are only human - is beyond me, and why they feel they have to put it out there for the world to know…..it just shows such great disrespect for everything else he did! My heart aches for him, especially when these people speak under the guise of being a friend! Are they really that insecure that they have to profess to having the “inside scoop” on Michael Jackson, exhibiting no self control whatsoever? Is it so difficult to keep certain tidbits to themselves, if for no other reason than to let the man rest in peace and receive the honor he deserves? Do they not understand how their inside scoops effect this man’s memory…and what about how they effect his children?! Do they honestly not know what the media and those who are looking for any excuse to hate Michael will do with those insignificant tidbits? If they truly were friends, and if they truly cared about him, they would know this and they would do anything they could to make sure he was lifted up for his contributions to the world and humanity! The man had more than his fair share of public scrutiny during his lifetime, most of which was based on nothing but lies or speculation. It is now time to forget the gossip and to celebrate his tremendous gifts to the world!

My only consolation when I read these kinds of stories is that one day, they will be forgotten. When the history books are written and the memory of Michael is carried forward for generations, all the innuendoes and speculations will be the least of what remains. His true legacy will be not only his amazing musical talent, but his exhaustive accomplishments as a global humanitarian and a kind, compassionate, and generous person - plain and simple! His true genius and heart will be remembered forever, for he bound his soul to his work, and the humility and love in his soul, as well as his passion for making the world a better place, is embodied in his work. His work is all of who he was in this world!

With Murray’s impending trial and the media’s never ending thirst for drawing blood from Michael Jackson, even in death, I expect things to heat up all the more in the months ahead. Although I’m just as anxious as anybody to get on with it, and to have justice be served, I’m also dreading the inevitable character assassination he will no doubt be subjected to in the process. More strength and courage for this part of the journey will be needed by all of us who love Michael so dearly. We must keep our support system strong and loving - do everything we can to help each other through this time - and do him proud by being peaceful advocates for truth and justice in his name! And soon, things will get better, I really believe that.

How do I know this? Michael's spirit is still ever present in the world and in my heart. Whenever I start to falter or reach a point of not knowing if I can go on, the truth of everything he endured for the sake of us all touches my soul and renews my courage, assuring me that he believes in me and is counting on me (on all of us!) How can I say “no” to that? He gives me strength and power every time he touches me. Why would he continue to help me hang on if he didn’t know that a better time was coming? He’s certain about that - I have no doubt. And I’m only speaking for myself here - I know there are many, many others who have had a similar experience.

Michael is going to need his army of love messengers to stay strong until we get through this other insidious trash! There will be a time when we can do even more to make a difference in this world on his behalf. There will be a time when people will get tired of the garbage and will want to do something better with their lives. That force is building in the world even as I write this, and one day the scales will tip. I am seeing more and more evidence of this as time passes. There is an overall shift happening where the gossip and rumors about Michael are downplayed and his gifts to the world are being lifted up and recognized. There also appears to be a new wave of personal stories surfacing which recount special memories of Michael. People who knew him and some who didn’t, but had a chance encounter with him that touched their hearts and showed his true character.

This is progress, and it gives me hope for a better tomorrow!