The Circle of Life

 Those of us who know
We who see
We understand
We’re right where we’re supposed to be

In the light of day
In the sun’s brilliant rays
And in the moon’s glow
We just know what we know

The truth, it is written in the air
We can see it, we can feel it
No longer a mystery
It’s been already there

Our vision has changed
You see, rearranged
By the One who reflects
All our wishes and dreams

 Now we see things we’ve never seen before
‘Cause that child came along and opened the door
To our sheltered places
Our comfortable spaces
Shadows danced across the floor
And for the first time we could see their faces

He shined his light in the dark
And showed us the way
He said, now you will know
What I’ve already known
And you won’t need to ask
It’s been already said

Your vision has changed
You see, rearranged
By the One who reflects
All your wishes and dreams

When you look to the moon
On this cold winter’s night
You already know, my love is in its light
A precious gift will soon be revealed
In the glow that surrounds the moon this night

 Trust what you see, trust what you feel
You know what’s right
Your hopes and your dreams
They are already there in the circle of life

Take care not to fear
Take care not to doubt
Take care not to question
What this is about

You already know
What you know in your heart
My light has shown you
The way through the dark

 Now you see things you’ve never seen before
‘Cause that child came along and opened the door

Your vision has changed
It's been rearranged
By the One who reflects
All your wishes and dreams

Trust what you see, trust what you feel
In the glow that surrounds the moon this night
You need only believe
You know what’s right
Your hopes and your dreams
They are already there in the circle of life

01/l8/2011
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

Circle of Life - The Poem: How it came to be...
This poem came to be after I had received the wonderful news last week that my daughter and son-in-law are expecting their 4th child! This news by itself would be evidence of the wonderful miracle of life and God’s gift to us; however, there’s more to this story than first meets the eye. You see, their 3rd child, Asher, didn’t make it to full term. For unknown reasons, he died mid-pregnancy and his two older brothers, Aidyn and Avery, would never have the privilege of playing with their little brother whom they were so excited to meet. As with my first two grandsons, I was with my daughter, Kendra and her husband, Matyas, at the hospital on October 1, 2009, for the delivery of our little doll, Asher. We knew he was not alive, so it was a very emotionally intense experience for all of us, but especially Kendra. As she brought forth this precious little being that her body had so lovingly caressed for 4½ months, but who was not to be in this world, she also lost Hope. I saw the light go out in her soul and, as her mother, I felt so helpless to do anything for her. I couldn’t take her pain away. It’s not the same as kissing a 'boo-boo' and making it all better as you do for them when they are young. This was a deep, deep pain that she had to work through herself to come to terms with her grief and anger over this unexplainable loss. I lent my love and support and faith in whatever ways I could in the weeks and months that followed; but, as any mother of a grown child knows, you have to allow them space and time to work things out for themselves - to find their own answers and their own peace in their own time. They may not realize it at the time, but it’s how we love them.

Kendra and Matyas were undecided for some time after October of 2009 as to whether they would try for another child. There was even a period of time when it looked as if it wasn't going to happen. For a while Kendra's grief was intensified by not only the loss of little Asher, but the loss of the possibility of another child. Well, as you know, there IS another child on the way! On the evening of January 17, Kendra shared the good news with me when I was at their house for a visit. I was thrilled, of course, but also filled with concern for her and how she was handling this emotionally. She and I talked for a long time that night about worry, doubt and fear and all I could say to her was "God knows what He's doing... please trust in that!" I was afraid to say "everything's going to be fine" because I really didn't know that, and I didn't want to assure her of something that was yet uncertain. I have no way of predicting the outcome any more than she does, but what I can do is share my faith with her...so I did.

A little later when I left to go home, I stepped outside and, looking up as I always do to find our little moonwalker, I noticed the nearly full moon shining brilliantly through a porthole in the sky. There was a HUGE ring of dense fog around the moon, larger than any I had ever seen. Inside the ring the sky was so clear and bright, I could see all the stars surrounding the moon. It was as if the moon had burned off the fog to create this porthole so I could see it...just for that moment (it was gone by the time I got home.) The sky outside the ring was foggy so the only clear spot was inside the ring and the whole picture looked 3-dimentional! I was mesmerized by this beautiful scene and I stood there for several minutes just absorbing its magic. The first thing that came to mind as I was looking at this miracle of nature was "Circle of Life"... it was HUGE and it was complete, the full circle representing eternity and the ongoing reproduction of life. When I realized what that meant, I started to cry and, looking at the circle again it felt like a big hug...something I'd been asking for in my prayers lately. It was wrapping its arms around me and making me feel warm and secure on this cold winter's night. A beautiful gift of love - like everything was coming full circle and I knew it was going to be alright!

I drove home feeling as if I wanted to call Kendra immediately and tell her of this experience and the powerful sense of assurance I had received. But there was a nagging feeling of concern too that was hanging over me at the same time. I didn't want to give her a false sense of security, because I knew that I still didn't have concrete answers...just a feeling. I also realized that "everything's going to be alright" could mean a variety of things and didn't necessarily guarantee a healthy, full-term baby of the desired gender! I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning.

When I arrived home I noticed the ring around the moon was gone, so I went inside and spent some time on my computer checking messages and reading over a couple of my blog posts from around Christmas time. When I read the December 17 post, "A Christmas Story: Yours and Mine", I was moved all over again by the story in the song "Old City Bar." It was somewhat related to this 'encounter' I'd had with the circle around the moon.
http://mjreflecdtionsheart2heart.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmas-story-mine-and-yours.html
Soon after reading this post, I fell asleep in front of my computer and woke up around 4:00 a.m. with these words in my head: "Those of us who know, Those of us who see, Those of us who understand, We're right where we're supposed to be." That's when I wrote "The Circle of Life". A few days later, I sent it to Kendra, telling her about how the poem came to me and my feeling that everything was going to be alright, adding this:

"Now, what that means, I don't know. I just know we need to trust in God's timing and His love for us no matter what. That's all God asks us to do. If we can let go of our doubts and fears, then we will see that everything in our lives (yes, even the pain and suffering) holds a gift. Being able to trust when you've been hurt so deeply isn't easy... I know, and God knows too. Letting go and handing over the reigns when you have felt betrayed is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do! It's not that you don't have ANY control over the outcome...you can do everything in your power as a human being to take care of yourself and seek the medical and emotional support that you need to ensure having a healthy pregnancy and to increase your chances of having a healthy baby. This is something you do very well, my dear, and I have every confidence you will do it again this time. All the rest is prayer and trust in God's love for you and your family.
"I knew right away I wanted to share this poem with you, but again I hesitated only because my own doubts started to creep in after some time had passed (as they often do!) and I didn't want to give you 'false hope'. After a little more time, I thought 'There is no such thing as FALSE Hope! Hope is HOPE... and Hope is good! Hope is one of God's wonderful gifts - if we don't have Hope, we have nothing!' It is true that sometimes our hopes are not realized, but that is where the trust comes in...and the believing in God's love no matter what.
"So, I've listened to that little voice inside and decided to send you this poem. I hope this touches you, honey, and gives you comfort and HOPE! What this poem did for me was to confirm my own intuition, the feelings I had when I looked at the moon and the words "Circle of Life" came to me and I felt that warm hug of assurance that everything was going to be alright. So I'm passing that assurance on to you."
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My friends - Now you know....the ressst of the story! (as Paul Harvey used to say)

I am filled with Hope for a beautiful healthy new baby in our family! Please join me in that Hope and in continuing our mission to create a better world for our children and grandchildren to live in! Trust your intuition and use it to be the best that you can be at whatever talents God has gifted to you! And always...put some Love back into the world each day, as Michael so faithfully did throughout his entire life. The Circle of Life continues - generation after generation. And if each generation can help to make things just a little bit better, someday this world may realize Michael's dream of peace, love and joy for all the world's children!

01/27/2011
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

This one's for you, Kendra!...


I love the above video, but I much prefer Elton John singing the song.
This is a great video too:
(see lyrics to the right in the sidebar)

A Christmas Story: Yours and Mine

It's been a tradition of mine for many years to purchase one new Christmas CD each year to add to my collection. This year I decided to purchase the Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD entitled "Christmas Eve and Other Stories". To tell you the truth, I had never listened to their music before, although I had heard of them. This particular CD was produced in 1996, so it's been around a while. My general preference for Christmas music leans toward instrumental versions of classic carols or those sung by choirs. I also have artists such as Josh Groban, Jim Brickman and Michael W. Smith in my Christmas music library. Music that inspires is what I like to listen to, especially this time of year. Anything that tells the Christmas story and instills a sense of wonder and gratitude for the joy of the season and the precious gift of the Christ child.

I took my new Christmas CD to work with me the day after I purchased it, popped it into my boombox and began listening. But because I was busy working, I wasn't totally tuned in to most of the music except when a squealing electric guitar caught my attention. It surprised me because it wasn't what I was expecting - you might say I was even a little disappointed. Not that I don't like electric guitar, but it didn't feel much like Christmas music to me when I heard those parts! Nonetheless, I continued to play the CD as I worked. Soon there came a song that made me stop what I was doing to listen closely. A man's voice, a bit gritty and raw, was singing a ballad accompanied by an acoustic guitar. At first, I only heard his voice which touched something deep inside of me with its expression. I felt tears welling up and I didn't even know yet what he was singing about! I replayed the song and listened more carefully to his words and what I heard was a message as told in a story...MY story...OUR story of how Michael Jackson walked into our hearts and got our attention!

As you listen to the song and read the lyrics, think about this...For many of us, before Michael died, we were closed off, couldn't see past the end of our noses. We didn't even realize that there was anything we were missing...until June 25, 2009. Michael came into our vision and brought it into focus...he danced and sang his way into our hearts and taught us about all the things he had been noticing all along. Things that caused him heartache and concern for the world.

He noticed when a child or a fan in the crowd needed a hug...and he gave it. He noticed when a family or an individual needed help...and he offered it. He noticed when the world directed its prejudice or hatred toward certain kinds of people...and he spoke out about it. He noticed when we were blindly destroying our earth and not caring about the long term consequences...and he sang about it with passion!

He noticed when a sick or dying child just needed a touch or a smile...and he gave it with tenderness and Love in his heart. He was the little boy who came through the door into our sheltered world to show us what was happening outside, to shake us free from our comfortable places and help us to see that we could make a difference!

So, I decided to share this song with you here in hopes that we could be inspired to "somehow make this Christmas thing last"...

I wish you Hope, Peace, Joy, Love and always Inspiration this Christmas and throughout the coming year. May we continue to arrange to change the world as the Christ Child and our man-child have inspired us to do!

Old City Bar
In an old city bar
That is never too far
From the places that gather
The dreams that have been

In the safety of night
With its old neon light
It beckons to strangers
And they always come in

And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The music was low
And the night Christmas Eve

And here was the danger
That even with strangers
Inside of this night
It’s easier to believe

Then the door opened wide
And a child came inside
That no one in the bar
Had seen there before

And he asked did we know
That outside in the snow
That someone was lost
Standing outside our door

Then the bartender gazed
Through the smoke and the haze
Through the windows and ice
To a corner street light

Where standing alone
By a broken pay phone
Was a girl the child said
Could no longer get home

And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The bartender turned
And said, not that I care
But how would you know this?
The child said I’ve noticed
If one could be home
They’d be already there

Then the bartender came out from behind the bar
And in all of his life he was never that far
And he did something else that he thought no one saw
When he took all the cash from the register draw

Then he followed the child to the girl across the street
And we watched from the bar as they started to speak
Then he called for a cab and he said J.F.K.
Put the girl in the cab and the cab drove away
And we saw in his hand
That the cash was all gone
From the light that she had
Wished upon

If you want to arrange it
This world you can change it
If we could somehow make this
Christmas thing last

By helping a neighbor
Or even a stranger
And to know who needs help
You need only just ask

Then he looked for the child
But the child wasn’t there
Just the wind and the snow
Waltzing dreams through the air

So he walked back inside
Somehow different I think
For the rest of the night
No one paid for a drink

And the cynics will say
That some neighborhood kid
Wandered in on some bums
In the world where they hid

But they weren’t there
So they couldn’t see
By an old neon star
On that night, Christmas Eve

When the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
And in case you should wonder
In case you should care

Why we’re on our own
Never went home
On that night of all nights
We were already there

“Christmas Eve and Other Stories”
Trans-Siberian Orchestra, 1996

Back to My Heart

I don’t want to leave this place
At the edge of the sea
I feel that you are here
In the wind and the waves
In the cry of a seagull
In the moon that hovers in the sky
Watching over me as I cry

Touching me
Bringing me back to my heart once again
The place where I always want to be
I never want to leave that place in my heart
Please….keep touching me

















Every time you touch me
I become a hero
Barriers disappear as if by magic
All the impossible becomes possible
Because of you
Now I know what I can do

Words will sing and dance on the page
Expressing from my heart
This love
Your light
Awareness of all the beauty around
The things we must keep
Ever close, ever safe

My heart sings the song
And I understand
What it is I need to do
Because of you

07/05/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

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"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to the ocean..."
~ from Robert Frost's poem, Devotion

I Had This Feeling...

A Chance Encounter: Was It Divine Inspiration?

07/05/10 Journal Entry: Letter to Michael

Dear Michael,

I met someone on the beach today. A sweet young woman with lovely long dark hair and large brown eyes like yours. She was very beautiful and kind. I was sitting on a log near the path that leads to the beach when she and her family came along. We exchanged hellos and friendly smiles as they all walked past me single file with her at the rear. After she passed by, she suddenly stopped and turned around to face me as if something compelled her to stay behind and chat with me. She noticed I was writing in my notebook and she seemed intrigued by it. She was very touched when I told her I was writing poetry. I wanted to tell her that it was Michael Jackson who inspired me to write, but somehow it didn’t feel like the right time. We needed to get acquainted first!

I sensed that she wanted to stay a bit longer and visit, so I set my notebook aside and gave her my full attention. We engaged in small talk for a while, exchanging information about where we live and what we were doing here on the Oregon coast. I learned that she and her husband live in San Jose, California, and they are here on vacation with his parents who are visiting from India. They are showing them some of the beautiful places here in Oregon and their vacation will include a visit to Portland, and then Crater Lake before heading back home to San Jose. She said she had never been to Crater Lake. I told her how stunning it is, how it takes your breath away when you approach the rim and first lay eyes on it. I told her how the pictures are all very beautiful, but none can show its true magnificence like being there in person.


She asked if I came here often. If she had not been so sweet and genuine when she said it, I might have laughed at the humor of her using this classic get-acquainted “line.” I responded, “Oh yes! I come to the coast two or three times a year. I love it here! I moved to Oregon from the Midwest 25 years ago. My family still lives in the Midwest, but this is my home now.” Her eyes lit up and she asked where in the Midwest I was from. When I rattled off the names of four Midwestern states, including Minnesota, she became excited to hear this and said that she and her husband lived in the Twin Cities for 7 years. I noticed a little glint of pride turn to sadness in her brown eyes when she said it. She added that she misses her friends there but she also said that she likes it here on the west coast - it’s a nice climate. When I told her I had attended college in Mankato, Minnesota, she once again perked up because she knew it well.

We had found some common ground - these two strangers on the beach who felt a kinship, but didn’t know why. It was as if there was an unknown force or energy that drew us together, even if for a very brief time. Why did she make the decision to turn around and speak to me after she had already passed me by? What was it about me that caught her attention, and what was it about her that intrigued me so? I was certainly taken with her kindness and beauty, but there was something more. I couldn’t put my finger on it. This was a chance encounter that seemed orchestrated…but why? During our visit, I sensed a longing in her for something she may have missed in her life. Her friendly demeanor and sweet smile were quite charming, but she seemed sad somehow. I’m not sure what it was, but there was a clear feeling that maybe her life had taken her on an unexpected journey, and she was still trying to find her place in her new world.

We chatted a bit more before she left to join her family on the beach. After she walked away, I had this feeling… I can’t explain it - it just came to me out of the blue - something in my gut or my heart, I don’t know. It was like a whisper, a nudge. I shook it off at first because it seemed so unlikely, but it came right back and was hauntingly persistent. There it was again, that whisper, that nudge. I know this is going to sound crazy, Michael, but… my inner voice was telling me that this was about your son Blanket! In a flash I realized that, yes, I could see Blanket in her face, in her eyes. The very thought of this was so random that it didn’t make sense, especially since I wasn’t thinking about it at all during our conversation. It’s as if the thought was planted from somewhere outside myself as she walked away. I don’t have a habit of thinking about Blanket, other than my usual concern for all your children, nor do I wonder about his mother. It doesn’t concern me. And you know I’m not the kind of person who engages in gossip about you or even speculation about the things in your life that are none of my business. But…this feeling…it wouldn’t go away. Could it be? She looks too young to be his mother, but then I could be fooled, maybe she’s older than she looks. She did say that she and her husband lived in Minnesota for 7 years, so they‘ve been together for a while. And, of course, now they live in San Jose, which begs the question, “How did they come to live in San Jose?” This didn‘t come up in our conversation, so I was left with only the question. I said to myself, “No way! What are the chances?” I’d say only about one in a million, or even less. But then I remembered who I’m dealing with and I realized that anything is possible when it comes to you, Michael! Unlikely connections abound with you - synchronicities and coincidences that leave me shaking my head in disbelief. So, who knows? I am left to continue wondering as I return to my notebook to finish the poem I was writing when this chance encounter began, permeating my entire being with so many puzzling questions. Why was I even thinking about this??


A little bit later, as the family was leaving the beach, they came by my log again and this time, they all stopped to chat. I couldn’t help noticing how genuinely nice they all were. The parents expressed their amazement over the beautiful scenery here in God’s Country, a name penned to describe the state of Oregon when the first settlers arrived on the Oregon Trail. After a bit more friendly conversation, we said our goodbyes and wished each other well as they departed. I wanted to reach out and hold her back for a moment - look into her eyes once again, only this time to find the answer to my question. But instead, I watched as they headed down the path away from me, and I knew that I was not meant to know…only to wonder. I didn’t even know her name.

Michael, I have to say, there was just something about this young woman that touched me deeply. She had a very kind nature and an innocence about her that warmed my heart. Maybe that’s what it was that made me think of you and Blanket. For a few moments, I allowed my mind to wonder at the possibilities. What if? What if this is one of those amazing coincidences - a brief moment in time when I looked upon the sweet woman who gave you a son? So close, yet so far away… for I will never really know. You have been so present with me all weekend, I just can’t help but think that this miracle encounter could be a possibility! One last time, I allow myself to wonder…how would she have reacted if I had told her that you were the one who inspired me to write poetry?

After they left, I looked up and saw the moon hovering over me, so faint in the daytime sky, and I feel once again as if you’ve touched me. Maybe it’s just because I know about your connection to her homeland - your love of the people and the culture - and that’s what gave me this feeling. I don’t know…

But, one thing I’ve noticed since you’ve been gone is that I want to touch everything you’ve touched. I want to know everything you’ve known. I find myself being drawn to people of all colors and cultures. Something about this beautiful rainbow of color around the globe is calling to me like it never has before. I often reflect on my own place in this world in relation to everyone else - all people around the world. And I want to learn more about every culture, their traditions and their beliefs. My heart is more open than it’s ever been. I can see the beauty in everyone as you saw it… and I understand. My eyes are open wide for the first time in my life and I see all as God intended for us to see! It reminds me that we are One. There are no boundaries that separate us, and we must do all we can to heal this world - to put more love and tolerance back in it! Each culture must be celebrated and honored for what it brings to the whole of humanity. Our children, and our children’s children must learn to embrace the diversity that IS this world we live in! We are all God’s beautiful children.

I want you to know that I don’t need to know the answers to my questions. In the end it doesn’t really matter whether this young woman is Blanket’s mother. I do believe that our chance encounter on the beach was divinely inspired, but for what reason I may not ever know. God works in mysterious ways and my faith tells me that the answers, if I am meant to know, will come in God’s time, not mine. What I do know is that you have opened my eyes to the truth about myself and the needs of the world. And that is enough for today.

Thank you for touching me and bringing me back to my heart once again.

I love you forever,
Charlene

King of My Heart

I’ll bring you anything you ask for

Nothing is beyond my reach

I’ll gather the stars

Lay them at your feet

Or place them gently on your head

Like a crown of jewels fit for a king

Diamonds and rubies

Sparkling and shimmering

 I want to change the world

Only for you

Tell me what to do

Your wish is my command

Anything you ask for

I will make a plan

To love the children

Seek the truth

Heal the planet

What must I do

To see this through

I’ll bring you anything you ask for

Nothing is too high

I’ll pull the moon down from the sky

Place it on your pillow

To keep you warm at night

I’ll sing you a lullaby

And hold you ‘til the morning light

King of my heart

I will never part

07/03/10

Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess