It was brought to my attention on January 31 this year that this was the date in 2005 when Michael stood before a judge and plead 'not guilty' to unthinkable charges which were brought against him by a money hungry family and a greedy politician. I couldn't get the imagined picture of him standing in that courtroom proclaiming his innocence out of my mind. Other images of his famous walks to and from the courthouse in Santa Maria, California, during the 5 month trial that followed his official plea flooded my thoughts as well. And I couldn't help thinking about all the events leading up to that time as well as the events that followed the jury's verdict of "Not Guilty" 14 times on June 13, 2005. This date will stand out in history as the day Michael Jackson was declared innocent of child molestation; but even though he was exonerated, the truth is, his life would never be the same after that. And we continued to hear slanderous remarks and innuendoes regurgitated by the media and the public from those who just couldn't seem to believe in his innocence. It's an unfortunate and an unjustified misconception we are still dealing with today.
This is not the first time I have thought of these things, nor is it the first time I have cried many tears over the injustice of this insane situation and how it crushed Michael's soul! But this is the first time I found the words to express all that was occupying my heart and mind when these images - these memories - came flooding back all at once.
This remarkable journey I've been on with Michael since June 25, 2009, has led me through some extreme highs and lows along the way, learning new things at every turn about this innocent and generous man we all love so very much. I just keep loving him more and more as time goes on and I want him to know how much of a difference he has made in my life. I want him to know that everything he gave us...all he sacrificed...all he endured was somehow not in vain. The impact he has made on my life and the lives of so many around the world is a powerful testimony to the effectiveness of his life's work and the mission he was here to accomplish! I bow before him in humble gratitude for the precious gifts he shared with us at such a high cost! And I thank God every day for the gift of Michael in this world!
His message was love, pure and simple... we got it!... And we're not letting it go!
Innocent!
An innocent man went to trial today
Accused of things he couldn't even say
Seventy officers invaded his home
Ransacked and pillaged through everything he owned
The paradise he'd created
Lost its soul that day
And Neverland lost its Peter Pan
Because they couldn't accept
He was an innocent man
Handcuffed, paraded before all of humanity
Viscious tongues lashed out in glee, "He's Guilty!"
The lynching began before the trial even started
This innocent man was hate's favorite target
Thirsty for blood, they couldn't wait
For him to meet his presumed fate
Humble and proud, he stood before the judge
"I'm not guilty, your honor
And I want you to know I won't hold a grudge
I forgive them, you see
For they know not what they do
I'll face the jury
Then the world will know the truth"
His innocent nature was not an act
Some found it hard to believe
'Cause the truth is, as a matter of fact
On stage he was a 'beast'
A sensitive man to the very core
An artist, a genius, a master of his craft
We'd never seen anything... or anyone
Quite like him before
His love of children
Was the whole of his existence
Without them, you see, he wouldn't want to be
The children of the world were his reason for living
They knew his true soul
His innocence they could see
A healer of the sick
And a lover of all things pure
He believed in magic, this innocent man
And he only wanted to share it
With everyone throughout the land
Bringing joy and escapism
To this hurting world
He gave us all he had to give
His love, energy and light
Put our spirits in a whirl
Growing wings to fly
Like Peter Pan
Above the clouds so high
A child at heart
God's innocent delight
He inspired us all to be child-like
To love as a child loves
And to remember their plight
But the media vultures
And their pandering public
Didn't understand
The purity of his soul
They really believed
He was capable of hurting
The very thing
That made him feel whole
They judged and ridiculed
Laughed and pointed
Chewed him up and spit him out
They were ugly and mean
They just didn't understand
What this innocent man
Was really all about
The trial was a farce
It should never have been
And ultimately
They couldn't convict
This innocent man
But they took his soul
In two thousand and five
And even though
He came back to show us
He was ever alive
This innocent man
Would leave us again
When the doctor contrived
To let him die
In the year two thousand and nine
Although his body is gone from this earth
His spirit lives on
A new day, a new birth!
His love penetrates
The hearts of those who believe
'Cause he planted the seed
In you and in me
The gifts God gave him for us to see
How to live and love and just how to be
Have inspired us to be the very best that we can be
He gave us insight to heal this planet
So, we're workin' day and night to put some love back in it
It's been a tradition of mine for many years to purchase one new Christmas CD each year to add to my collection. This year I decided to purchase the Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD entitled "Christmas Eve and Other Stories". To tell you the truth, I had never listened to their music before, although I had heard of them. This particular CD was produced in 1996, so it's been around a while. My general preference for Christmas music leans toward instrumental versions of classic carols or those sung by choirs. I also have artists such as Josh Groban, Jim Brickman and Michael W. Smith in my Christmas music library. Music that inspires is what I like to listen to, especially this time of year. Anything that tells the Christmas story and instills a sense of wonder and gratitude for the joy of the season and the precious gift of the Christ child.
I took my new Christmas CD to work with me the day after I purchased it, popped it into my boombox and began listening. But because I was busy working, I wasn't totally tuned in to most of the music except when a squealing electric guitar caught my attention. It surprised me because it wasn't what I was expecting - you might say I was even a little disappointed. Not that I don't like electric guitar, but it didn't feel much like Christmas music to me when I heard those parts! Nonetheless, I continued to play the CD as I worked. Soon there came a song that made me stop what I was doing to listen closely. A man's voice, a bit gritty and raw, was singing a ballad accompanied by an acoustic guitar. At first, I only heard his voice which touched something deep inside of me with its expression. I felt tears welling up and I didn't even know yet what he was singing about! I replayed the song and listened more carefully to his words and what I heard was a message as told in a story...MY story...OUR story of how Michael Jackson walked into our hearts and got our attention!
As you listen to the song and read the lyrics, think about this...For many of us, before Michael died, we were closed off, couldn't see past the end of our noses. We didn't even realize that there was anything we were missing...until June 25, 2009. Michael came into our vision and brought it into focus...he danced and sang his way into our hearts and taught us about all the things he had been noticing all along. Things that caused him heartache and concern for the world.
He noticed when a child or a fan in the crowd needed a hug...and he gave it. He noticed when a family or an individual needed help...and he offered it. He noticed when the world directed its prejudice or hatred toward certain kinds of people...and he spoke out about it. He noticed when we were blindly destroying our earth and not caring about the long term consequences...and he sang about it with passion!
He noticed when a sick or dying child just needed a touch or a smile...and he gave it with tenderness and Love in his heart. He was the little boy who came through the door into our sheltered world to show us what was happening outside, to shake us free from our comfortable places and help us to see that we could make a difference!
So, I decided to share this song with you here in hopes that we could be inspired to "somehow make this Christmas thing last"...
I wish you Hope, Peace, Joy, Love and always Inspiration this Christmas and throughout the coming year. May we continue to arrange to change the world as the Christ Child and our man-child have inspired us to do!
Old City Bar In an old city bar
That is never too far
From the places that gather
The dreams that have been
In the safety of night
With its old neon light
It beckons to strangers
And they always come in
And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The music was low
And the night Christmas Eve
And here was the danger
That even with strangers
Inside of this night
It’s easier to believe
Then the door opened wide
And a child came inside
That no one in the bar
Had seen there before
And he asked did we know
That outside in the snow
That someone was lost
Standing outside our door
Then the bartender gazed
Through the smoke and the haze
Through the windows and ice
To a corner street light
Where standing alone
By a broken pay phone
Was a girl the child said
Could no longer get home
And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The bartender turned
And said, not that I care
But how would you know this?
The child said I’ve noticed
If one could be home
They’d be already there
Then the bartender came out from behind the bar
And in all of his life he was never that far
And he did something else that he thought no one saw
When he took all the cash from the register draw
Then he followed the child to the girl across the street
And we watched from the bar as they started to speak
Then he called for a cab and he said J.F.K.
Put the girl in the cab and the cab drove away
And we saw in his hand
That the cash was all gone
From the light that she had
Wished upon
If you want to arrange it This world you can change it If we could somehow make this Christmas thing last
By helping a neighbor Or even a stranger And to know who needs help You need only just ask
Then he looked for the child But the child wasn’t there Just the wind and the snow Waltzing dreams through the air
So he walked back inside Somehow different I think For the rest of the night No one paid for a drink
And the cynics will say That some neighborhood kid Wandered in on some bums In the world where they hid
But they weren’t there So they couldn’t see By an old neon star On that night, Christmas Eve
When the snow it was falling The neon was calling And in case you should wonder In case you should care
Why we’re on our own Never went home On that night of all nights We were already there
“Christmas Eve and Other Stories” Trans-Siberian Orchestra, 1996
What an amazing adventure this has been so far! Riding this wave of discovery, pain and love has been one magical experience after another. Yes, even in the pain, as difficult as this may be to comprehend. I think it's something only those who are on the same journey can fully understand. Others may hear our words as we attempt to describe the impact Michael Jackson has had on our hearts and on our souls. They may nod their heads and even say they understand, but in all reality, they can't possibly. It's just not understandable - it defies logic. How does one feel such a strong soul connection to someone they have never met? And how can one say they are grieving the loss of this individual more than they've ever grieved for anyone, including their own family members? That just seems wrong to anyone who has not been on the receiving end of Michael's immense light and love. I can understand their questioning and their doubt. I've had plenty of that myself along this path.
So, it occurred to me several months ago that my family members might be a bit bewildered by some of the poems and stories I had written about this experience, should they come across them by accident. What if something happened to me tomorrow and all that is left for them to piece together the mystery of this phenomenon I've been speaking of for the last year and a half are my poems and other writings which are kept in files on my computer? Some of the poems are quite personal and could appear to be proof that maybe I had lost my mind just a little bit! These more personal poems are some of my most treasured, and I would not want to leave them in the hands of someone who didn't understand the depth of this experience. If I had the opportunity to explain all of this to them through my writing, knowing they would be reading it after I was gone, what would I say? And recognizing that when someone dies, their loved ones suddenly see them more in the light of truth and goodness, I knew that anything I left behind for them to read would hold so much more meaning after I had gone than it would right now.
I decided to create a file that would hold all of my most treasured writings with a personal message about what this experience has meant to me and what I hope they will hold in their hearts after I'm gone. I would like to share a portion of that message with you here.
Funny...when I started writing, the first thing that came to me was a poem...
Michael’s Magic
To those who may read what’s in this file After I’ve gone to heaven’s domain I want to explain So you won’t think I was totally insane!
Rest assured, there’s more to this than meets the eye Michael has touched hearts with his love worldwide I have no illusions of physical love, my head is on straight, Just ask God above! Because He’s behind this, you can be sure In His grand plan, Michael was the lure His life was designed to get our attention Send the messages and make us question:
How do we live? Are we contributing to a better tomorrow? Or are we feeding humanity’s darkness, adding to the world’s sorrow?
How do we love? Are we kind and thoughtful, always forgiving? Or do we judge harshly how others are living?
When in our presence, do others feel our peace? Or do we cause tension, discomfort, or great dis-ease?
Think about it and read my words His love is a gift, it’s changed my world He made me realize That a love such as this can be the prize For a life of bliss, no surprise!
Our soul connection is just as true As anything between me and you God gave him to us for just awhile To teach us about a love worthwhile
Anyone can claim it It’s free to those who seek it His example was perfect No need to change it or rearrange it
To those who judge You’re missing the boat The greatest story ever wrote In plain sight for all to see His message of love will set you free
Michael never hesitated to express his love - for his fans, his friends and colleagues, his family, and most of all for God, as he expressed over and over his humble gratitude for his divine gift. He was a dynamic force for love in the world and all who knew him will tell of his other-worldly presence, the way he made them feel, always bringing out the best in those who could see and feel his light. They say that you won’t see the light in Michael if you don’t see it in yourself. To that I say, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, ‘If I don’t see the light in Michael, what am I missing in me? Why have I buried my light? And why am I afraid to bring it out into the open? What is it about love and goodness that frightens me so? I want to know!’
If you really want to know, God will take your hand and show you his plan - you can be certain of a journey you will never forget. The path to your light may be difficult at times, even painful, but the love and enlightenment you experience along the way will be the most perfect, pure, and soul-freeing feeling you have ever known!
When I speak of my love for Michael and my soul connection with him, it is with an understanding of him being so special a gift to many, many others around the world. I’m not alone in this! But it feels personal to each and every one of us; and in a way, it is! It appears we have been “chosen” to share his messages in the world, for our own individual reasons. Our unique life experiences have drawn us each to his light, and we have been transformed. Michael’s love is a pure, perfect, selfless kind of love that most of us find very difficult to express in our “humanness”, for we are not perfect, nor are we entirely selfless. He has transformed millions of hearts around the world during his lifetime and since his death. He gives us hope for a better tomorrow, and makes us feel that it IS possible to make the world a better place.
We can only hope to live our lives in a way that brings out the good in others. To express and give the kind of love that has no conditions upon it, as a child does. The pain and suffering we experience in life often hardens us to that kind of love. Michael was unique in that he was gifted with an inner knowing, an understanding about that kind of pure goodness - the importance of love - and he expressed it so freely, showing us by his example that no matter how much life knocks you around or how much hatred and cruelty you encounter, it’s LOVE that lives on and conquers the darkness of man! He died trying to bring that message to us one last time, even after certain factions of humanity beat him to a pulp and judged him for things that were based solely on lies, creating a global misunderstanding of his true nature. Because man is so tainted by his own darkness: greed, ego, lust for power, call it what you will - but the reality of what happened to Michael reflects the darkest and most sinister aspects of humankind.
Michael was gifted with an extremely bright light - so bright, in fact, that we didn’t quite know what to make of it. He spent the majority of his life being very misunderstood, judged for being ‘different’, and portrayed by the media as a freak. He had a strong faith and a clear understanding of his purpose in life, his divine gift and how he was to use it. He stayed strong through all the ridicule. And although Michael attracted much darkness to him because of his bright light, his love lives on and is ultimately the most powerful force in the world! This is the message God is sending to us through Michael!
Michael’s entire body of work, everything about the way he lived his life, including his struggles and how he handled them, his appearance, his health issues, his childlike nature, his gentleness, his kindness, his passion as expressed through his music and performances, even his anger over the injustices in this world, were all designed to get our attention - to make us sit up and take notice! His death was the starting point of an “awakening” around the world. This phenomenon is growing, it’s gaining strength and numbers as more and more people realize they are not alone in this experience and as others come to a new understanding of the truth about Michael Jackson. As difficult as it is for many of us to accept, I believe he had to die for people to start searching, wanting to know more about this man who was such a huge presence in this world. Efforts to understand why many judged him so harshly have led to a new knowledge of the real man behind the mask. Technology has given us an opportunity to view and read about his entire lifetime of music, interviews, speeches, performances, humanitarian efforts and even unguarded moments captured on film. Altogether, we see an entirely different man than what was portrayed by the media all these years! Shock and disbelief at how we could have been so fooled has been a common reaction among many. Or maybe we just weren’t paying close attention. Even those of us who were not "so fooled" are still discovering many new truths about this genius who lived and loved among us for 50 years.
We have come to the realization that this is a time for us to take a look at ourselves as a human race, to become aware of the things about ourselves we would like to change, and to BE that force for change in the world! This is everything Michael was trying to tell us when he was here! It’s all in his music - and in his example, his entire life - available for us to see and hear, to finally understand why he was here! If we don’t see it, we are losing out - we will miss the miracle that is right in front of us! I believe that Michael was a spiritual messenger, sent by God to teach us, to show us how to live and love. To show us the darkest side of humanity, so that we would be inspired to make a change in ourselves and to do everything we can to make the world better.
The Boomer generation knows more than any what this is about. When we were younger, we believed we could make a difference in the world - change it for the better. We marched, stood, sat, chanted, rallied and sang for peace, love, equality, justice, and freedom of expression in an effort to make the rest of the world see that there was a better way. Previous generations had gotten too comfortable with their way of thinking, and it didn’t work anymore - things needed to change! And it was our time to bring that change about in the world. We did have an effect - change did happen and we made progress toward those ideals. But somewhere along the way, the Boomers' passion faded. Many of us “gave up” the cause when we grew up a bit more, got married, settled down, raised a family, got busy just making it through a day in our lives with all the demands of simply existing.
Michael represented the hope we had when we were younger - the hope for a better tomorrow. His messages echoed everything we stood for. And as he continued to rally for change and enlightenment, we stood by and watched with interest this force, this powerful energy in one single human being who never gave up - who stayed the course on our behalf, and he did it alone! God’s timing of Michael's life here on Earth was immaculate! Michael’s death, and the subsequent awakening of the world to his purpose was preordained in my opinion. The Boomers are now coming of age - full circle so to speak. Empty nesters coming into retirement are now ready to receive the message, and to do something once again to effect change in the world! Michael knew this. These lyrics from his song, JAM, reflect that awareness:
The world keeps changing Rearranging minds and thoughts Predictions fly of doom The Baby Boom has come of age to work it out
Although the Baby Boomers are not the only generation experiencing this awakening and receiving Michael’s messages, the timing of his life and his death, I believe, was part of a plan to bring the boomers back to a state of enlightened consciousness to lead the way, creating another global movement for change!
One of the most amazing things about this experience has been to see how he has touched people of all generations. Every age from toddlers to seniors are feeling his energy, not only in his music, but they are also experiencing his love and his goodness in ways that we could not have imagined just over one year ago. We have so much to learn from him, and my hope is that minds will continue to open up to the possibility that Michael Jackson may just have something valuable to impart to us all. Those who resist because they don’t understand, or they don’t “get” this thing about Michael, will spend their life missing out on one of the greatest gifts in our lifetime.
I feel so utterly blessed to be one who knows - to be "chosen" to receive this remarkable understanding! I hope and pray my loved ones and friends will join me on this journey, or at the very least open their minds to the possibility that what I am sharing is absolutely everything I say it is! Even if you don’t get it until after I am gone, please know that I LOVE YOU with all my heart and soul and I wish for the same kind of awareness to come to you in your lifetime - no matter what form it takes, no matter who the messenger. For you to know that this immense light, this perfect kind of love can be real for anyone who seeks it. And for you to understand why I behaved the way I did, why this was so important to me, and why it changed my life forever!
Now...to get to the question I know has been nagging at you since the beginning of all of this: "How in the world could she feel so deeply about someone she's never even met?" I'll do my best to explain. Along this journey, I have felt a sense of knowing Michael, of our souls being connected somehow, somewhere, without really comprehending how or where or why. This feeling was very challenging for me to come to terms with in the beginning - it took months for me to finally accept that it could be. I don’t profess to know with 100% certainty whether I have ever "known" Michael before, and I don’t imagine I will know with 100% certainty in this lifetime. What I do recognize is that God has worked very hard at cracking my heart and mind wide open to receive this Gift. It is a calling which I cannot say "no" to - it comes from God! And I have come to know without question that there IS a connection of some kind - a spiritual bond between two very like-minded individuals with numerous "threads" connecting us throughout our lives. These threads went undiscovered until his passing. And I didn’t go looking for them - they came to me! Too many synchronicities to make this connection only a coincidence. And too many "coincidences" to be anything less than part of a very grand plan designed by The Master himself! I have my own ideas regarding what it all means, which I have already told you about here. But I am certain there will be pieces of this grand puzzle which will remain a mystery until I leave this world. I have come to accept that and, in the absence of 20/20 vision, I have called upon my faith to simply BELIEVE that God, the infinite power and authority of the entire universe, knows what He's doing! As Michael sang in the song Keep the Faith..."the power's in believing." Now that I have come to believe, my part is only to seek direction and a willingness to act on fulfilling my specific calling.
Beyond this, I must add that I do believe Michael’s essence represents a universal kind of spirit and love in the world. There are many around the globe who have expressed the same feeling of a soul connection to him, so I am not under the illusion that it’s just me. His universal presence and appeal is, I’m sure, part of the plan to get his messages to as many people across the globe as possible. This makes sense, but it doesn’t change the feeling inside that it’s personal. And I believe that feeling is intentional. It's something God has gifted to us and he wants us to accept the Gift!
The poems and writings I have posted in this file are deeply private and they represent the very personal nature of my feelings about Michael and my connection to him. These are not the unfulfilled fantasies of a crazed fan, I need you to know that and believe it! These writings are my way of processing my feelings about this personal connection, my understanding of what it may mean, and my coming to terms with it. They express my deepest emotions, and they hint at how I am drawing from the inspiration I received from him in this process. Yes, I do feel a deep love for Michael - his heart and soul - Michael the person. I believe he represents the kind of love I have longed for all my life. I honestly don’t know if I will find it with another person in this lifetime, but Michael has helped me to believe in it again. I beg you to respect my experience and to help me continue his legacy of love which I hope I have passed on to you.
These writings are everything to me - they express all that I am at the deepest part of my being! If you destroy these, you destroy my being in this world. These pieces, along with everything in my journal, represent the culmination of my life experience. Through this soul awakening, I have come to understand that my entire life, all 57 years of it, was preparation for this moment in time. That’s how big this is! And that’s why it may have seemed to you at times that I was overly obsessed. Do not judge me until you have walked a mile in my moccasins! I assure you, this experience is as real as anything you experience in your day-to-day living!
How does a person explain an entire lifetime of something missed? A sense that a true spiritual kind of love has passed you by - that everything you believed in as a child was wrong and would never come to be in your world. How does one explain the feeling of emptiness in your soul because of the mistakes, the dead ends and the days of just existing? How does one explain that they’ve never felt a sense of purpose or known what God intended for them in this lifetime? How do you approach the latter part of your life without ever having resolved that? There has to be more to one's life than this! And then, the answers come! Completely out of the blue - totally unexpected - and through a person you never dreamed would be your muse! It’s been life-changing, to say the least, and I hope that you will find it in your heart to honor me and my memory for what I am striving to do with my life - that you can tell your children and grandchildren that their grandma and great-grandma made a difference in the world and you are so very proud of her!
My true hope is that you will gain an understanding of my heart and my soul - an acceptance of who I was during my time here on Earth, mistakes and all. That you will cherish and respect my memory and you will know and feel this great love as I have been so blessed to receive. If I have truly lived as I have been called to live, the things I have done to contribute toward a better tomorrow should give you pause for reflection on your own life and whether you are contributing to a healthier, more loving humanity. And you will remember this all began with a little Moonwalker from Gary, Indiana!
I have no doubt Michael Joseph Jackson will be remembered for generations to come, not only for his musical talent, but also for the ways he contributed to changing the world for the better and inspiring others to do the same. I expect the “flavor” of what we will hear and read about Michael in the years to come will change from the sensationalistic stories of a "weird" eccentric genius, to a more realistic view of a man with a heart who shared his immense gift in order to make the world a better place. A spiritual messenger living among us! May HIStory tell the real story, the truth of this man who lent his light, his magic and his heart to us for 50 years and beyond!
Christmas Day 2009...Six months since Michael's death. Six months of extreme emotions and still not understanding it all. Why was his death affecting me so powerfully? And why was I persistently compelled to learn more about this man, and driven to dig deeper with every discovery? I didn't know the answers to these questions, but I did know that God was moving mountains inside of me, and there had to be a very good reason. The love that was growing in my heart for a man I never knew was very real and intense. The palpable reality of a world in need of change along with a growing awareness that I was somehow to play a part in its healing became more apparent to me as time went on. But I still didn't understand the "How?" or the "Why?" of it. And, to add to this challenge, there was a nagging, shadowy doubt that would visit me frequently along this path, causing me to question the validity of my experience. In spite of that, a part of me knew that no matter how confused I was about all of this, I just needed to believe, and to know that God would reveal what I needed to know when I needed to know it.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I had been feeling called to the ocean. The last time I was near the ocean was about a week after Michael’s death, when I bought his “Number Ones” CD and began listening to his music again after many years without it. I drove through the majestic Redwoods and all along the Northern California coastline while listening to him sing to me those familiar tunes...his passion and energy infusing itself into the deepest part of my soul! I had forgotten how powerful that energy was - it was beginning to work its magic on me once again, touching me and opening my heart after years of living in a self-imposed protective bubble. It was the beginning of a remarkable journey of discovery for me. It was also the beginning of my extreme grief over his loss - to myself and to the world.
A private coastal retreat over the Christmas holiday in 2009 would prove to be a major turning point on this journey. Michael's spirit touched me in a way that is difficult to explain. Three days entirely devoted to communing with nature...meditating and talking with God...listening to Michael's music...and writing daily journal entries after 6 months of intense grieving and soul awakening moments, would set the stage for a remarkable spiritual experience and an unwavering connection to Michael. He found a way to let me know in a very personal and clear manner that not only was this connection very real, but also that he wasn't going anywhere - that he would stay with me through this experience and I could count on it! I felt in my heart as if Michael's commitment was God's gift to give me strength for the journey ahead.
The day I was to return home from my ocean retreat was the day I wrote my very first poem. It was short and sweet, a simple verse, but the words flowed through me like running water. I'd never had that experience before and it was quite profound! I cherished that little verse because I thought it was the only poem I would ever write - my "Christmas Sun" miracle - but God and Michael had other plans for me. This new gift of writing was also here to stay!
O Christmas Sun
O Christmas Sun, My Love, My Light You’ve given me strength to endure the night In a fleeting moment you did appear You gave me hope, took away my fear You touched my soul, so deep, so true And brought me joy at the sight of you Your heart is warm, your beauty bright Your gift is Love, My Sun, My Light! ~ Forever and Always, Michael… “I thank God!” ~ Charlene ~
Several months and many poems later, on a beautiful spring day in March, I went to a local park on my lunch break. Enjoying the warmth of the sun as well as the sights and sounds of children playing, I was inspired to write the following poem...
Here To Stay
It's a beautiful Spring day The leaves of April are on their way The sun warms me through and through Love so intense coming from you
Reminds me of that Christmas Day Not so long ago You let me know You were here to stay
You offered your light and said, "Let it be your strength… forthright…your soul set free! Share the warmth with tender care And remember... Love is the temptress, the gentle snare
When challenged, hold fast, shine your light, be true to yourself, you know what's right Your soul was created to carry this cross With courage and vision, commitment to the cause
Facing down your doubts and fears when those who judge come forth to jeer Confronting, challenging the truth as you know it
Just breathe… Remember the love... Remember to show it."
I will call forth the lessons you left behind For others to hear Change their minds Their hearts transformed, no longer conformed
Love is the weapon of choice to use In defense of your voice, my heavenly muse Your beauty, your courage, displayed through me The Gift illuminated for all to see
Higher expectations, raising the bar You’re still getting our attention from afar!
You knew that, didn’t you?…goin’ in Your light would be forever stayin’ In the hearts of those who’d be your messengers The legend to tell…your truth…lessons learned
Children at play On this beautiful day Remind me of all you stood for Their souls so pure Would be the lure Your music inspired, to open the door
Help us to see the need that exists To care for and love them without remiss Value their souls, so they can be Happy and whole, their very best
You've asked us to nurture These little ones So close to God For they are the hope of the future Why would anyone consider this odd?
They will carry your message, your perfect love, for generations to come They’ll see the world become a better place Turn this one ‘round, change its face!
Years from now when I look back To see what kept me on track The sun warming me through and through Love so intense coming from you I’ll remember that Christmas Day So long ago When you let me know You were here to stay
What an amazing adventure this has been so far! Riding this wave of discovery, pain and love has been one magical experience after another. Yes, even in the pain, as difficult as this may be to comprehend. I think it's something only those who are on the same journey can fully understand. Others may hear our words as we attempt to describe the impact Michael Jackson has had on our hearts and on our souls. They may nod their heads and even say they understand, but in all reality, they can't possibly. It's just not understandable - it defies logic. How does one feel such a strong soul connection to someone they have never met? And how can one say they are grieving the loss of this individual more than they've ever grieved for anyone, including their own family members? That just seems wrong to anyone who has not been on the receiving end of Michael's immense light and love. I can understand their questioning and their doubt. I've had plenty of that myself along this path.
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