“The words to the next song you hear. The information in the next article you read. The story line of the next movie you watch. The chance utterance of the next person you meet. Or the whisper of the next river, the next ocean, the next breeze that caresses your ear - all of these devices are Mine; all these avenues are open to ME. I will speak to you if you will listen. I will come to you if you will invite me. I will show you then that I have always been there… All ways!”
~ Neale Donald Walsch, from Conversations with God, Book 1
(thank you, Jan, for this reminder!)
I have to admit, I’ve been at a loss for ideas on what to write about this week’s topic. I have spent the last 20+ years of my life seeking balance - attempting to tame my tendency toward extremes in all areas of my life. You see, when a person grows up in an unpredictable environment, you get used to operating in one extreme or the other. Things at home are either crisis oriented or so extremely quiet that you spend your days looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next bomb to drop. After years of living in this environment, you become conditioned. And once conditioned, crisis mode or high drama is the standard reaction to anything that feels threatening. It is even said that “we” will often create a crisis where there is none because that is what we are comfortable with. Believe me, I’ve learned all the psychological explanations for why I ended up in the many predicaments I found myself in throughout my adult life. I also learned that in order to find inner peace and serenity, I needed to stop reacting so much in the extreme and find a more balanced way of being within myself and in relationship with others. I think it’s called “chilling out!” I was doing pretty well in that regard too. Or so I thought…
Then came Michael. This is where things get a little tricky and I have yet to find a plausible explanation for this roller coaster ride of emotions I have been on since June 25, 2009. It has felt out of control at times - frightening and overwhelming - exciting and exhilarating at other times. It has taken me to the highest of highs - the peak of human emotion when overcome by the power of his Love; then swooping into the valley of despair when doubt and fear take over the reigns of this extreme ride. Many a day on this journey I have been emotionally spent, getting by on no more than a few hours of sleep each night as I have used up hours upon hours researching, writing, crying from the depths of my soul, dancing in joyful abandon, praying, seeking answers, exploring the mysteries, feeling his passion, blinded by his brilliant light and drenched in the heat of his perfect Love, absorbing it all and releasing it in a torrent of tears, grateful and frightened at the same time for this tremendous gift! I have not felt such extreme emotions, nor have I been closer to ME than what I have experienced over the last 2 years. Michael has brought me face to face with my Source - he has exposed the flickering flame at my core that’s been waiting for a chance to breathe and live! And I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before.
Michael loved fiercely, and at the same time he had a calmness and a peace about him that was palpable. Inner peace is a good thing, but I think we need to be careful that in our attempt to keep things low key, we do not lose our passion. When the emotions of the heart are not allowed to be felt or expressed, you risk becoming stagnant. Then lacking in any life whatsoever, you are simply existing - going through the motions to get through each day. I don’t think we are meant to live like that. I’m not suggesting we should be wild and crazy and out of control, nor am I suggesting there’s anything wrong with a peaceful environment.
But to LOVE with a passion that stirs others to life, just as
Michael has done with us, is what we were created to be at our very best! I don’t think a monotone Love is part of the Divine plan, do you? The Creator of the Universe would not even think of such a thing! In order to DO all that we are called to do in this life, to really make a difference, we must Love with a fire that expresses the intensity and undying commitment of Divine Love. There’s something about being emotionally spent that reveals the true nature of a Love without bounds. And the only way to get to being emotionally spent is to Love with great passion and abandon.
I wonder if the Guinness Book of World Records has an award for the longest time anyone has ever ridden an emotional roller coaster? If so, I think many of us would win that title hands down!
What would Michael do? He would just DO. Putting his heart on the line, he was never one to sit idly by and watch the world self-destruct without trying to DO something about it, nor would he watch the children of the world suffer without giving his ALL to make a difference in their lives. No matter how much life may have pulled him down at times - and we all know about the worst of those times - “he always came back with more love” (Kenny Ortega, This Is It). He may have needed time to heal and time to reflect, but he didn’t let any of it stop him from doing what he knew he was sent here to DO!
Lately, I’ve been feeling as if Michael is leading me, gently and clearly toward the next level of this journey. There have been many times over the last 2 years when, in my grief, I have felt as if I didn’t want to remain on this earth without Michael here. Or at the very least, I didn’t want to continue with my life as it was - the same old job, the same routines of daily living that no longer held any meaning for me. Everything seemed so pointless, so mundane, so worthless compared to this new adventure I had been catapulted into. He was taking me places I had never been before. He was offering me escapism to the max and I was ready to go with it 100%! If I hadn't had financial responsibilities and other commitments in my life, I would have left this place without hesitation and found a shack on the beach to spend the rest of my days in bliss with Michael, my computer (or pen & paper), the sounds and smells of the ocean, Mother Nature in all her glory, and my heart forever devoted to just loving him and writing about it! But I knew deep inside that this experience was leading me toward something even bigger than that (it’s hard to imagine anything bigger than loving Michael Jackson!!)
In many of the poems he has given me, the words often speak of fulfilling his mission. This calling is about so much more than spending my days in the eternal bliss of his magical love! On a much deeper level I knew that I had been chosen for this mission for some reason beyond my comprehension - chosen to receive his light, his love, his message, his inspiration to be all that I was meant to be in this lifetime - chosen to emulate his passion and his courage to step out in faith to DO the right thing… no matter what - chosen to DO something to make an impact in this world during my time here. To stop existing and start living - using my God-given gifts to their full potential - the way Michael did. He always DID… without fail.
His music has inspired me. Through it, his heart speaks to my heart. And that voice… oh my, that voice, with all its emotion and expressions and personalities - that voice has sung his beautiful and passionate melodies that have touched me in the abyss of my soul. With that voice, he has vibrated and energized every cell of my being. His light has penetrated every dark corner that ever existed inside of me - making me SEE what was there and erasing all fear of what I thought was lurking there. No big deal!! What have I been so afraid of all my life? And why did it take me so darn long to understand that there was nothing to fear and that I could DO so much more with my life than I ever dreamed possible?
Recently, I have felt something stirring inside of me that has been missing the last couple of years - a sense of hope and purpose related to my work. An unexpected awareness that my job may very well be the vehicle through which I can fulfill this mission from Michael is making itself known. It is becoming increasingly clear that everything I need to accomplish the work he wants me to DO is already in place - it was just waiting for this time to reveal itself and for me to be ready to recognize it and embrace it. The tools, the resources, the support, the people, the system… they’re all there - just waiting to be energized for this mission of ours to make the world a better place! I didn’t want to see that at first. I wanted to wrap myself and Michael in a cocoon, all comfortable and warm and cozy, and never come out until it was my time to leave this world. But, deep down I knew better. And Michael has not given up on me. He has had infinite patience with my roller coaster emotions (maybe he’s even enjoyed the ride a bit!) But he’s getting down to business now. Oh, he’s still sharing his Love in the only way he knows how - in a BIG way! Michael’s Love will never be diminished with time. It will continue to grow inside each of us as we live out his dream for us. Each step of this journey holds new adventures, and he will continue to take us places we’ve never been before, sharing his bliss, his joy, his magical love with us every step of the way. And as we DO as Michael would DO, never giving up our vision and hope for a brighter tomorrow and a better world for the children, we will be forever embraced in his Love and gratitude for all we are doing to carry on his mission and fulfill his dream!
My friend, Siren, recently posted the following quote on her blog, Siren’s Muse (see link to the right on this page). This is an answer she received from Michael after she asked him for guidance on a decision she was contemplating regarding her own life:
“Please don’t give up. I know it’s not easy. With knowledge comes responsibility. If you want to make a difference, you can’t run away and hide. This is not about dedicating yourselves to Me. It’s about dedicating yourselves to one another. The only way to make that change in the world is to be in it. I’m counting on you… on each of you. I know you won’t let Me down. It’s why I chose you… all of you. I Love you… more.”
When I read these words from Michael, I felt as if I had heard them or read them somewhere before - like Michael had given me this same message at some point on my journey with him. I don’t remember where or when, but I feel certain he must have whispered these words to me in a dream or maybe he painted them in the sky? Now, that’s a whole other story!!
Sit back, relax your mind, and listen carefully to Michael’s words in this video as he speaks about his vison for Heal the World and what we should all be doing to help others in need. It’s wonderful to hear his voice talking about his dream of helping people (especially children) all around the world. What he is saying is that he will never stop doing what he was called to DO. I believe that’s true, even now. And in saying that, he is asking us to DO the same!
“Whatever is happening in your life right now, dedicate it consciously to the furtherance of love's purposes on earth.” ~ Marianne Williamson
The Plea
Parents take heart
Don’t lose hope
You can make a new start
Love and kindness are a part of God's dream
for a brighter tomorrow
You have the power to make things right
The children need your help
Simply be your very best selves
The truth of what you were meant to be
Remember your childhood, innocent and bright
Return to your heart, stay in the light
And keep singing your beautiful love song
We must admit where we’ve been wrong
We’ve lost sight of what’s right
We’ve all been fooled
We don’t know what we want, we only think we do
That’s why we need children to show us the way
To help us remember
Guide us back to our hearts
To that place and time before our childhoods went astray
This is the time to bury our pride
Pay attention to God’s littlest angels
They have much to teach us
In their innocence, they are wise
Their little souls are closest to God
Their light is still shining brightly
If we crush it now, their spirits will die
We can’t allow this to be!
Please don’t belittle, ridicule or strike
Good discipline is not about fear
They deserve our respect
So they won’t run and hide or choose violence
When the schoolyard bully comes ‘round to jeer
This world needs their love
Their future is in our hands
Remember this…
Pay attention to their souls
God’s wisdom is in them
If we only just listen
The Promise
Children take heart
Don’t lose hope
We can make a new start
Love and kindness are a part of God's dream
for a brighter tomorrow
We have the power to make things right
But we need your help
Simply be your beautiful selves
The truth of what you were meant to be
Innocent and bright, happy and whole
Stay in the light
And keep singing your playful melody
Please, please don’t hide your light because of us
We admit where we’ve been wrong
We’ve lost sight of what’s right
We’ve all been fooled
We don’t know what we want, we only think we do
That’s why we need you to show us the way
Help us remember
Guide us back to our hearts
To that place and time before our childhoods went astray
You are God’s littlest angels
You have much to teach us
In your innocence, you are wise
Your little souls are closest to God
Your light is still shining brightly
If we crush it now, your spirits will die
We won’t allow this to be!
We promise not to belittle, ridicule or strike
Our discipline will not instill fear
You deserve our respect
So you won’t run and hide or choose violence
When the schoolyard bully comes ‘round to jeer
This world needs your love
Your future is in our hands
We will remember this…
To pay attention to your souls
God’s wisdom is in them
If we only just listen
