Peaks and Valleys

I have to admit, I’ve been at a loss for ideas on what to write about this week’s topic. I have spent the last 20+ years of my life seeking balance - attempting to tame my tendency toward extremes in all areas of my life. You see, when a person grows up in an unpredictable environment, you get used to operating in one extreme or the other. Things at home are either crisis oriented or so extremely quiet that you spend your days looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next bomb to drop. After years of living in this environment, you become conditioned. And once conditioned, crisis mode or high drama is the standard reaction to anything that feels threatening. It is even said that “we” will often create a crisis where there is none because that is what we are comfortable with. Believe me, I’ve learned all the psychological explanations for why I ended up in the many predicaments I found myself in throughout my adult life. I also learned that in order to find inner peace and serenity, I needed to stop reacting so much in the extreme and find a more balanced way of being within myself and in relationship with others. I think it’s called “chilling out!” I was doing pretty well in that regard too. Or so I thought…

Then came Michael. This is where things get a little tricky and I have yet to find a plausible explanation for this roller coaster ride of emotions I have been on since June 25, 2009. It has felt out of control at times - frightening and overwhelming - exciting and exhilarating at other times. It has taken me to the highest of highs - the peak of human emotion when overcome by the power of his Love; then swooping into the valley of despair when doubt and fear take over the reigns of this extreme ride. Many a day on this journey I have been emotionally spent, getting by on no more than a few hours of sleep each night as I have used up hours upon hours researching, writing, crying from the depths of my soul, dancing in joyful abandon, praying, seeking answers, exploring the mysteries, feeling his passion, blinded by his brilliant light and drenched in the heat of his perfect Love, absorbing it all and releasing it in a torrent of tears, grateful and frightened at the same time for this tremendous gift! I have not felt such extreme emotions, nor have I been closer to ME than what I have experienced over the last 2 years. Michael has brought me face to face with my Source - he has exposed the flickering flame at my core that’s been waiting for a chance to breathe and live! And I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before.

Michael loved fiercely, and at the same time he had a calmness and a peace about him that was palpable. Inner peace is a good thing, but I think we need to be careful that in our attempt to keep things low key, we do not lose our passion. When the emotions of the heart are not allowed to be felt or expressed, you risk becoming stagnant. Then lacking in any life whatsoever, you are simply existing - going through the motions to get through each day. I don’t think we are meant to live like that. I’m not suggesting we should be wild and crazy and out of control, nor am I suggesting there’s anything wrong with a peaceful environment.
But to LOVE with a passion that stirs others to life, just as

Michael has done with us, is what we were created to be at our very best! I don’t think a monotone Love is part of the Divine plan, do you? The Creator of the Universe would not even think of such a thing! In order to DO all that we are called to do in this life, to really make a difference, we must Love with a fire that expresses the intensity and undying commitment of Divine Love. There’s something about being emotionally spent that reveals the true nature of a Love without bounds. And the only way to get to being emotionally spent is to Love with great passion and abandon.

I wonder if the Guinness Book of World Records has an award for the longest time anyone has ever ridden an emotional roller coaster? If so, I think many of us would win that title hands down!

7/18/11
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess