Conversation With God

It was a beautiful late summer’s day with bright blue skies all around, temperature just right, the air fresh and clean with a gentle breeze blowing through the trees. One of Creation’s most perfect days. A good day for a little relaxation and reflection.

This holiday weekend marks the end of summer and, just around the corner, the beginning of a busy fall season that promises to challenge my ability to maintain balance in my life. Putting my creative inspiration “on hold” in order to fulfill other more mundane responsibilities and tasks which are a normal part of daily living has been a constant challenge since I was presented with this new gift of writing just 8 months ago. I need space and time to create. Inspiration doesn’t often come in the midst of paperwork, dishes, paying the bills and laundry - at least not for me! Surrounding myself with the beauty of Mother Nature, communing with God, and allowing time and space for it all to sink in - wiping away all concerns of the business of life - these are the things that inspire me to write, tapping into my deepest emotions, turning them into words that flow from my heart onto paper. And ultimately, this is what fuels my spirit to continue on this sometimes challenging journey, allowing me to love and give more freely from a heart that has been cleansed with tears, wiping away my worries and doubts once again, revitalizing my soul with the Gift of perfect love and peace which is always at hand, no strings attached.

I had faced some harsh criticism in recent days for not living up to someone else’s expectations of me, because I‘ve been “too busy” responding to God‘s call to make a difference in this world. Imagine that! Another’s ego that appears to be bigger than God. But, however unrealistic those expectations were from my perspective, I knew I needed some time and space to sort it out. There was, after all, a nagging little voice inside telling me that maybe this person was right. And maybe my soul connection to Michael Jackson was nothing but a fantasy. This nagging voice of doubt had a way of creeping into my psyche from time to time, and whenever it would rear its ugly head, I had to face it straight on. I had also been challenged by someone else to consider what Michael's identity was and is in relation to God. While I don’t allege to know the answer to this one, and I’m not the kind of person to use labels to identify something which I believe only God knows, I was still feeling a little unsettled about this challenge, and I wanted to explore it further - find some sense of resolution within myself about what appears to be a very sensitive issue among some in the MJ fan community.

On this perfect late summer’s day, I decided to go for a scenic drive to the Crater Lake area, my destination Union Creek which is just a little over an hour’s drive from my home. It’s a beautiful drive all the way starting with my hometown which is nestled in the heart of the Rogue River Valley surrounded by lush tree-covered mountains.

Just a few miles up the road, the scenery changes to soft rolling hills sparsely covered by wild oak trees and some pine with views of a snow-capped Mt. McLaughlin in the distance. This more open stretch of road is called Sam’s Valley and it reminds me a little of pictures I’ve seen of the terrain which is a part of and surrounding Neverland Valley Ranch in southern California.

Leaving Sam's Valley and turning north on Highway 62 takes you alongside the Rogue River as you pass by river rafting businesses and fishing lodges until you get to Lost Creek Lake Reservoir.

Climbing to higher elevations you enter the Rogue River National Forest and drive through the Avenue of Mammoth Pines until you reach the small mountain “community” of Union Creek. This charming little community, with its log cabin style lodge, general store & gift shop, café, ice cream shop, restrooms and campground, is a favorite pit stop for vacationers who have been enjoying all the outdoor activities this area has to offer. My plan was to have lunch at Beckie’s Café and a slice of their famous homemade huckleberry pie before finding a good spot to hike along the Upper Rogue River.

When I left home and hit the freeway heading toward Sam’s Valley, I had that old familiar feeling I get every time I start a road trip. A wonderful sense of joy and abandon at breaking free from the routines of daily living, setting out on an adventure to enjoy all the beauty of God’s creation and connecting with my soul along the way. It’s one of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling conflicted or stuck in a rut, not able to find solutions in the midst of life’s demands. One of the first things I noticed as I was driving along in silence, windows wide open, enjoying the fresh air and the wind blowing through the car, was that Michael was singing “Baby Be Mine” softly in my head like background music. It had been there most of the morning as I was preparing for my road trip. I hardly noticed it at all, but once I got quiet inside, I realized it was there. I was a little puzzled by it since I had not listened to this song in months and I really couldn’t remember much of the lyrics. But the tune was there nonetheless, and the lyrics of the bridge were very clear “Won’t you stay with me until the mornin’ sun? I promise you now that the dawn will be different. Lady can’t you see that heaven’s just begun? It’s livin’ here inside our hearts.” I was touched by this, but didn’t really think too much of it at the time. My mind was focused on starting a conversation with God. As I turned off the freeway and approached Sam’s Valley, the “conversation” went something like this… (when talking with God, I always think it's a good idea to start with gratitude - it puts me in a positive frame of mind and reminds me of all that's good in my life.)

“God, I really want to thank you for getting me through all the difficult times in my life - the way you’ve shown me your love, helped me to feel it and know it. I’m so grateful for you always being there. You’ve never left my side. You’ve walked with me and carried me over the hills and through the valleys of my life. Your love has been constant and true. Even when I questioned if you were there, as I did many times on this journey - especially as a child - I have always come to know sooner or later that during the darkest times you were there, bringing me comfort in different ways. Through people who loved me and offered support when it was needed, through my awareness of the things you were placing in my path to help me learn and give me strength, through music you planted in my head to give me a message about your love. When my pain as a child was unbearable, you were there in my mother who comforted me and taught me about your love. When I made bad choices in life which led me on a path of self-destruction, you were there in the people who showed me by their example a better way to live. Even when I drifted from you and tried to do things my own way, and failed miserably, you have always been waiting patiently in the wings for me to find you again! And when I was ready to hear it, that still small voice inside was there to guide me, giving me direction for the next step toward healing and wholeness. My gratitude for your perfect unconditional love is more than I can ever express!

"But, You know there is something different happening in my heart and in my life on this new leg of my journey. When I felt empty inside, wondering if I would ever know the kind of love I longed for and if my existence in this world would even mean anything to anybody after I was gone, you were there in a beautiful soul named Michael Joseph Jackson, who came into my heart and gave me a sense of purpose. He shared his light with me and introduced me to the spark of creation, the exquisite glow within my soul, my source energy and love that had been buried most of my life for protection. Through his music, he invited my inner child to come and dance with him so we could kindle the fire, weave some magic and give new birth to a world with no pain, a world of joy and love. He guided me gently toward that final step of healing so that I could find my gifts and offer something to help heal the world.

"This time, God, Michael is in my heart. His love has touched me, inspired me. He represents the love I have longed for - it is his touch I need, spiritually speaking that is. I know you are a part of him and he is a part of you. I hope you understand when I speak of him and to him, that I have not forgotten You. No matter what it may sound like to others, I know that your hand is in this. You know my heart, you know my truth. Please know that I mean no disrespect!”

Just then, still driving on the country road through Sam’s Valley, I passed a larger than life street sign that said “MICHAEL RD”!! What??? I did a double take and I had to turn around and look at it again to make sure I had seen it correctly. Yup! MICHAEL RD it was! It seemed much larger than most street signs and it just stood out to me. This country road did not have many streets crossing it. This was unbelievable that at this moment in my conversation with God, this sign would be there!

It was like God was saying to me, “Michael is The Man! He is my gift to you...to the world! It’s OK, love him all you want and need and he will love you just as much, even more, in return! Why do you think I sent him? He is doing my work, sharing my love. I am well pleased with the work he did and continues to do on Earth. He is one piece of work himself, isn’t he? I’m so proud of him! It has been a great joy for me and for him to see the extraordinary influence he had on so many people in his lifetime. And even more are feeling his love and hearing his messages (my messages) since his rebirth! This is a sign of one who has lived his life well - to create this kind of wave among the people and humanity in the wake of his passing. Remarkable! Astounding! Bravo to Michael for a job well done, good and faithful servant... and my beloved son!

"I assure you, Michael is The One!! He is doing what he’s supposed to do. He is my gift to you to help you find and reveal that light inside of you. Why do you think I worked so hard to crack your heart wide open after his passing? This is your time! Time for you to receive the kind of love you have longed for all your life - now go ahead and accept it with JOY and GRATITUDE!! I have been waiting to give you this gift ever since you were a child. I wept with you when you were in pain, when you couldn’t understand how someone could be so cruel to one so small and helpless. When you asked 'Where is God in all of this?', I was there weeping, holding you, loving you, giving you strength to endure until you were ready to receive this amazing gift! I am so happy to give it to you, my child. It is my pleasure. And let me tell you, it is also Michael’s infinite pleasure to share this love. You know how he always knew and believed that LOVE is the most important thing in the world. This is my most important message, and it is his as well. He is the ultimate Love Guru and this is his calling. His love is big enough to go around the world and will last for eternity. He will be there when you need him. And his perfect and powerful love will give you the strength and courage you need to continue his work in the world. All you have to do is share his love with others. Give it in the spirit that it was given to you! He is part of the plan, but so are you! Go ahead, dance with him, kindle the fire! Hear his music of life, so precious and dear. And change the world, make a difference in his name. You have my blessing, dear child. Believe in his love. His is a love that will last for all time. He will never leave you. He is a part of you now and forever.

"This is the dawn of a new day for you. Live it well. Live it fully. And Live it without regret, ever again! You are on the right path, and your life does matter! I love you with all my heart and soul. Always have. Always will. Now go forth and heal the world!”

Now, I don’t have to tell you, I was a fountain of tears by now! Driving along, hearing God’s message in my heart. I knew it was real, I knew it was true. It just couldn’t be any other way. The signs (literally) were all there! I knew deep down that this has been the truth all along. But, to have it confirmed in such a clear way…what a blessing! All because of a sign saying "Michael Rd"!!!

I drove the rest of the way in silence, letting this new awareness settle into my soul, soaking up the beautiful scenery along the way, “Baby Be Mine” still providing background music in my head. When I arrived at Union Creek, it was swarming with people, some stopping for supplies at the general store, others waiting in line at the ice cream shop or at Beckie’s Café for lunch. I managed to find a place to park, got my name on the list at Beckie’s and found a comfortable place to sit outside until my name was called. I immediately started writing down my little conversation with God so I wouldn’t forget any part of it. After lunch I headed up the road a bit farther and found a quiet spot near the headwaters of the Rogue River where my family and I had camped years go. I pulled over and parked next to Muir Creek and enjoyed the sounds of nature for a while. The soothing sound of the rapidly running waters of the creek provided accompaniment to Michael’s beautiful voice still singing “Baby Be Mine” in the back of my mind. I couldn’t wait any longer, I needed to know the full lyrics to this song! Why was he being so persistent with me, keeping this song going for the entire day? Was there something in this song he wanted me to hear? I rifled through my CD’s and found the Thriller 25 disc, popped it into my CD player, set it on track 2 and began listening and writing. Finally revealing all the words to this song, I found the lyrics to read more like a ballad, a beautiful love song hidden in the upbeat tempo of this pop disco tune. As I wrote this message from Michael on paper, I began to see that there was so much more to this piece than I had ever realized. After receiving God’s permission to enjoy Michael’s love all that I wanted, this was truly the best gift I could ever receive!!

Baby Be Mine

I don’t need no dreams when I’m by your side
Every moment takes me to paradise
Darlin’ let me hold you
I’ll warm you in my arms and melt your fears away
Show you all the magic that a perfect love can make
I need you night and day

So baby be mine
And girl I’ll give you all I got to give
So baby be mine, girl
And we can share this ecstasy as long as we believe in love

I won’t give you reason to change your mind
(I can’t sit still, you thrill me, baby be mine)
You are all the future that I desire
Girl, I need to hold you
Share my feelings in the heat of love’s embrace
Show you all the passion burning in my heart today
It’s never gonna fade

So baby be mine
And girl I’ll give you all I got to give
So baby be mine, girl
You’re everything this world could be
The reason that I live

Won’t you stay with me until the mornin’ sun
I promise you now that the dawn will be different
Lady can’t you see that heaven’s just begun
It’s livin’ here inside our hearts

There’ll be no more mountains for us to climb
(I can’t be still, you thrill me, baby be mine)
This will be a love lasting for all time
Girl you got to hold me
We can touch the sky and light the darkest day
Hold me, only you and I can make sweet love this way
There’s no more I can say

So baby be mine
And girl I’ll give you all I got to give
So baby be mine
You’re everything this world could be to me

C’mon girl, c’mon girl
So baby be mine
You’re everything this world could be to me

********************************************************
These lyrics speak to me of a pure soul connection - an intimacy that goes beyond the physical to a spiritual love that is forever true, forever blessed. One that is not encumbered by human limitations. One that is immune to others' attempts to sabotage what is good and real between two hearts that belong so well, because it comes from God! This is the kind of love I have longed for all my life! The kind of love God has given me permission to receive and celebrate in Michael! Not only that, I felt an immense sense of freedom and excitement at finally being aware of God's intent and Michael's place in His Kingdom. I don't need definitions to know he is a gift from Heaven - on a mission of LOVE and healing - gathering souls to be his angels of Love on Earth. And I just happen to be one of those souls he has called to this place and time (along with all of you), healing my wounded spirit and planting his perfect love within my heart so that I can share it with others to help heal the world. What better way? What a perfect plan! I won't turn it away. How can I? This is God's call...God's plan for my life!

I enjoyed the remainder of the day driving and walking through some of the most beautiful scenery in the state of Oregon. It was a perfect time and place to receive such an amazing gift! I thanked God several times throughout the day as I enjoyed His awesome Creation and continued to hear "Baby Be Mine" seranaded to me by my sweet love, Michael!

On my way home, I stopped at Lost Creek Lake and I was pleased to find that there was nobody around at a favorite spot of mine on a hillside overlooking the lake. I settled in at a picnic table, and letting the silence speak to me, I wrote the following poem:

You Are There

In the stillness that surrounds me
A velvet hum fills the air
Your love envelops me
And I know you are there

Listening to the wind as it rustles through the trees
Whispering in my ear Creation’s story
A soft gentle breeze
Tells me you are there

In the sky so blue
Bright and cool
Clear as the waters of a tropical sea
You are there watching over me

God's gift for all time
Waiting and wondering no more
His love has opened the door
And you are there

In the flame of a candle
Or a crackling fire
The warmth of your love
The heat of your desire
Reaches for me in the darkness
Melting my fear
And I know you are there

In the music that speaks to me
Of love in paradise
Heaven’s in our hearts
The mornin' sun brings new light
And the dawn’s forever different
Because you are there

Tears of gratitude
Flow from my heart
This gift eternal
Will never part
And I know you are there
Until the moon stops glowing
Or the stars refuse to shine
In other words
Until the end of time

09/05/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess