One In Pain

“The time has come… It is now I see and feel that calling once again, to be part of a music that will not just connect, but make all feel one, one in joy, one in pain, one in love, one in service and in consciousness.”
~ Michael Jackson - posted on MJFC, 3/9/09

Well over a year ago, I decided to look through the news archives on the Michael Jackson Fan Club website in a fervent effort to find out all I could about Michael and what was going on in his life during his last months on this earth. I started with June of 2008 and worked my way up to June of 2009 and a little beyond. This quest of mine took me on an emotional journey that was somewhat unexpected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect it, but all I can say is that I entered into it just wanting to learn more about Michael. I think I also hoped to feel a little bit more a part of his life during that time. What were the fans talking about? And what was all the latest news about Michael?

I read about Michael sightings and the excitement they generated. Just knowing where he was and what he was doing seemed to fill the fan community with such joy. And the fact that he was back ‘home’ in the U.S. was also cause for celebration. Reassurance that he was OK and making plans for new projects seemed to be all that was needed by the fans to know that the object of their undying love and affection was on the mend and ready to give the world more of his amazing talent. There was great anticipation over the possibility of new music and maybe even another tour, but the details of the next big thing didn’t come to light until March 6, 2009 when he made the official announcement for the This Is It concerts at the O2 arena in London. The above quote, which is now historic, and quite possibly the last publicly released statement by Michael, was posted on the MJFC website just a few days after his official announcement of the tour. The whirlwind of activity that followed along with the news about ticket sales and the adding of concert dates to accommodate the astounding number of people who wanted tickets, created an energy that was palpable and very contagious!

What I didn’t anticipate going in to this quest is that with each news item I read, there was the inevitable reality of June 25, 2009 looming in my consciousness like a crouched cat, waiting for the right moment to strike. And as I got closer and closer to that date, my tension increased, my heart beat faster, and tears were shed more and more readily. The pain was unbearable at times, but I continued on my quest nonetheless. I felt almost like an observer, re-living those days and watching from afar with the knowledge of what was to come. If I could only change the course of events that led to that day, oh, I think I would give my life to do so! When I came upon the above quote and read it for the first time, I was blown away by the power of it. Michael was referring to the upcoming concerts and his hope that the messages he had to share with the world through his music would be heard and taken seriously at long last. “The time has come…” he said. The urgency of now was and is upon us. He wanted us to come together in unity over the issues he brought to our awareness and he hoped that we would be moved to take action to DO something about the state of our world.

When I read this statement, I was struck by the feeling that Michael somehow knew that this would be his legacy. This was the purpose of everything he hoped to accomplish through his music forever! When he talked about wanting to be immortal - to live forever through his music - THIS is what he meant! And all of these things have come or are in the process of coming to pass in the wake of his departure from this earth.

We have felt one in pain as we have mourned the loss of this remarkable man who was a brilliant shining light on this planet. Our pain over his physical absence as well as the loss of the possibilities - the dream of all the gifts he had yet to share with the world - has been immense. We have cried an ocean of tears together over the pain he suffered during his life, most especially from the trial of 2005. All of this pain has brought us together from all around the world in a community of “oneness” by our shared love for this one incredible human being who graced this earth with his beautiful presence for 50 years. We have taken Michael’s messages seriously and we are using our pain to make a difference in this world through our many projects of philanthropy and justice in his name. I believe this is exactly what Michael meant when he said “one in pain.” He wanted us to feel the urgency of his messages down to our bones. He knew that if we didn’t feel HIS pain over the concerns he had for the condition of our planet and the state of humanity, we would not be moved to make that change. So the pain is inevitable if we are to continue doing his work in this world…. and we must!

In our darkest hour
In my deepest despair
Will you still care
Will you be there
In my trials
And my tribulations
Through our doubts
And frustrations
In my violence
In my turbulence
Through my fear
And my confessions
In my anguish
And my pain
Through my joy
And my sorrow
In the promise
Of another tomorrow
I'll never let you part
For you're always in my heart

~ Michael Jackson ~
Epilogue, Will You Be There