Michael Forgive Us

I’m so sorry I was not there
To lift you up, let you know I cared
When things got tough, the world so cruel
It wasn’t enough just to say “those fools!”

Your dignity was trampled
Your light snuffed out
Your faith in humanity
Was plagued with doubt

How could one so gentle and pure
Be tortured more than anyone could endure?

You always gave your love and kindness
Showing us how to be our best
For this they told the horrid lies
For money and greed, to claim the prize

Your soul did not matter
They held your heart on a platter
To be diced and sliced, chopped into bits
They were not nice, but you took the hits
Held yourself with dignity and grace
You stood tall, the demons to face

And even though you were found innocent
The light in your eyes would remain reticent
Never to quite fully recover
Its former brilliance went undercover

Safe and protected from the enemies of your heart
Cushioned from harm you made a new start
Healed a bit, but still not the same
Your light was beginning to burn through the shame
Peaking through the shield of pain
It started to shine from your soul once again

This Is It was the plan
A gift for the fans
We were thrilled beyond measure
Singing and dancing your dream, your adventure
You would give us such pleasure!

To us, your brilliance was never gone
We held you in our hearts all along
Waiting for your wounded soul to heal
Returning to the stage to make us feel
The heat and passion
of your love and affection
We would once again be wooed by your amazing perfection!

Then….out of the blue
your life was taken from this world
On June twenty-fifth, our minds were in a whirl
Can it be true? Is this for real?
In shock and disbelief, we could not feel

Numbed by the news, the world went silent
The stage was now empty, your light stolen from it

Is there something we could’ve done to prevent it?
Loved you more? Healed the planet?
Would that have changed your story in the end?
Would sleep have been your friend?
Did we not do enough while you were here
To show appreciation for your gifts so dear?

For sacrifices made to deliver the message,
was our offering no more than a mere vestige?
A sample so small, you couldn’t see
That you were making a difference
How could this be?

We let you down, fell prey to the shadow
Apathy conveyed through our lives so shallow
Did you have to die for us to know
The importance of your life, your message, your show?

If we had only been
more like a true friend
Listened to your heart from the start
You knew all along that what you had to share
Was critical for the world to hear
You tried… gave us everything you had
Your joy, your anger, the good and the “Bad”

We heard your message, but didn’t respond
We just wanted a piece of you ’cause we were so fond
Your love was pure, your beauty bright
Your sweetness made our hearts take flight

And even though you loved our adoration
It wasn’t enough to prevent your ultimate submission
The pain was too much, the darkness very real
It took you from us, I don’t think we’ll ever heal

I’m not sure what I could’ve done
Written a letter? Called you on the phone?
I am nobody… would you have known?
Could I have made a difference, kept you from goin’?

Put the light back in your eyes for the world to see?
Restored your faith in humanity?
Taken your pain? Kissed and made it all better?
Turned the rain into sunshine with just a letter?

Now that I know, now that you’re gone
I cannot change it, the past is said and done
But I can beg forgiveness for my apathy
Try to make a difference in your name… throughout eternity

The messages you worked so hard to impart
Continue to be real, still rendered from your heart
Now free of limitations
I can do my part
Heal the world, change human relations
What I should’ve done from the very start

Making amends to you in this way
Will not bring you back, but it will make “them” pay
Justice for you will take a new form
For love and kindness will become the norm

All who love you are joining hands
A gesture of unity among your fans
creating a new community
With love at the center of all we do
Your lessons remembered, this is our cue
To make the world a better place…for you!

Let us not forget, always respect
Your example was perfect
No need to change it…dissect it…or reject it

May the Force of Love continue in your name,
Dear Michael…
One who is most like God

04/03/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Here to Stay

“O Christmas Sun! What holy task is thine!

To fold a world in the embrace of God!”

~ Guy Wetmore Carryl ~

Christmas Day 2009...Six months since Michael's death. Six months of extreme emotions and still not understanding it all. Why was his death affecting me so powerfully? And why was I persistently compelled to learn more about this man, and driven to dig deeper with every discovery? I didn't know the answers to these questions, but I did know that God was moving mountains inside of me, and there had to be a very good reason. The love that was growing in my heart for a man I never knew was very real and intense. The palpable reality of a world in need of change along with a growing awareness that I was somehow to play a part in its healing became more apparent to me as time went on. But I still didn't understand the "How?" or the "Why?" of it. And, to add to this challenge, there was a nagging, shadowy doubt that would visit me frequently along this path, causing me to question the validity of my experience. In spite of that, a part of me knew that no matter how confused I was about all of this, I just needed to believe, and to know that God would reveal what I needed to know when I needed to know it.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I had been feeling called to the ocean. The last time I was near the ocean was about a week after Michael’s death, when I bought his “Number Ones” CD and began listening to his music again after many years without it. I drove through the majestic Redwoods and all along the Northern California coastline while listening to him sing to me those familiar tunes...his passion and energy infusing itself into the deepest part of my soul! I had forgotten how powerful that energy was - it was beginning to work its magic on me once again, touching me and opening my heart after years of living in a self-imposed protective bubble. It was the beginning of a remarkable journey of discovery for me. It was also the beginning of my extreme grief over his loss - to myself and to the world.

A private coastal retreat over the Christmas holiday in 2009 would prove to be a major turning point on this journey. Michael's spirit touched me in a way that is difficult to explain. Three days entirely devoted to communing with nature...meditating and talking with God...listening to Michael's music...and writing daily journal entries after 6 months of intense grieving and soul awakening moments, would set the stage for a remarkable spiritual experience and an unwavering connection to Michael. He found a way to let me know in a very personal and clear manner that not only was this connection very real, but also that he wasn't going anywhere - that he would stay with me through this experience and I could count on it! I felt in my heart as if Michael's commitment was God's gift to give me strength for the journey ahead.

The day I was to return home from my ocean retreat was the day I wrote my very first poem. It was short and sweet, a simple verse, but the words flowed through me like running water. I'd never had that experience before and it was quite profound! I cherished that little verse because I thought it was the only poem I would ever write - my "Christmas Sun" miracle - but God and Michael had other plans for me. This new gift of writing was also here to stay!

O Christmas Sun

O Christmas Sun, My Love, My Light
You’ve given me strength to endure the night
In a fleeting moment you did appear
You gave me hope, took away my fear
You touched my soul, so deep, so true
And brought me joy at the sight of you
Your heart is warm, your beauty bright
Your gift is Love, My Sun, My Light!
~
Forever and Always, Michael…
“I thank God!”
~ Charlene ~

12/28/09
Copyright © 2009 by Charlene Burgess

Several months and many poems later, on a beautiful spring day in March, I went to a local park on my lunch break. Enjoying the warmth of the sun as well as the sights and sounds of children playing, I was inspired to write the following poem...

Here To Stay

It's a beautiful Spring day
The leaves of April are on their way
The sun warms me through and through
Love so intense coming from you

Reminds me of that Christmas Day
Not so long ago
You let me know
You were here to stay

You offered your light
and said, "Let it be
your strength… forthright…your soul set free!
Share the warmth with tender care
And remember...
Love is the temptress, the gentle snare

When challenged, hold fast,
shine your light,
be true to yourself, you know what's right
Your soul was created to carry this cross
With courage and vision, commitment to the cause

Facing down your doubts and fears
when those who judge come forth to jeer
Confronting, challenging the truth as you know it

Just breathe…
Remember the love...
Remember to show it."

I will call forth the lessons you left behind
For others to hear
Change their minds
Their hearts transformed, no longer conformed

Love is the weapon of choice to use
In defense of your voice, my heavenly muse
Your beauty, your courage, displayed through me
The Gift illuminated for all to see

Higher expectations, raising the bar
You’re still getting our attention from afar!

You knew that, didn’t you?…goin’ in
Your light would be forever stayin’
In the hearts of those who’d be your messengers
The legend to tell…your truth…lessons learned

Children at play
On this beautiful day
Remind me of all you stood for
Their souls so pure
Would be the lure
Your music inspired, to open the door

Help us to see the need that exists
To care for and love them without remiss
Value their souls, so they can be
Happy and whole, their very best

You've asked us to nurture
These little ones
So close to God
For they are the hope of the future
Why would anyone consider this odd?

They will carry your message, your perfect love,
for generations to come
They’ll see the world become a better place
Turn this one ‘round, change its face!

Years from now when I look back
To see what kept me on track
The sun warming me through and through
Love so intense coming from you
I’ll remember that Christmas Day
So long ago
When you let me know
You were here to stay

03/19/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Exposed

Several months into this journey with Michael, my confidence in what I was experiencing continued to grow. But it was by no means a straight path! Trust in my intuition as well as belief in Michael's presence would take many dips along the way into that dark pool of doubt. And sometimes the notion that Michael Jackson's spirit could actually be touching base with ME just seemed too outrageous to be true! I mean, we're talking the biggest star in the world here! There were times when the reality of this would hit me and I would ask myself why I would ever think that Michael Jackson would even have the slightest notion of who I was. It just seemed insane at times!! It didn't always make sense from a practical standpoint, and that was the gauge I was accustomed to using - my practical sense of earthly things - things I could see with my own eyes. My faith in God was probably about the only exception to this. In every other spiritual sense, I had been playing it safe far too long and had very little trust in things unseen or in matters of the heart and soul.

I had been considering attending a local "Holistic Faire" for some time to get a reading from someone with psychic abilities. I didn't know much about it, but I had been to one of these faires previously with my daughter, sat with her and took notes while she received a reading. I was mostly curious to hear what someone with this special gift would feel or sense coming from me or in the energy field around me. In a way, I think I was wanting to receive some kind of validation of what I was experiencing. A complex mix of thoughts and feelings were having their way with me about taking this risk - putting myself out there to be examined on a spiritual level by a complete stranger. Not knowing how reliable their "gift" would be and knowing that mistakes could be made caused an inner conflict with my need for validation. What would I hear? And what would I DO with that information? Most important, how would it effect my own perception of my personal experience? Would the reading be so vague that I would not find the answers I was seeking; consequently, adding even more weight to the doubt which already plagued me from time to time?

In March, after much inner deliberation, I made the decision to attend the Holistic Faire. The plan was to just wander around the room to get a feel for who was there, how I was feeling about being there, and to make a decision at that time whether I would go for a reading. Well, almost as soon as I entered the building, I felt a sense of dis-ease about it, but I wasn't entirely sure why. There were many people attending this faire, so there was a noticeable "buzz" in the room. It was a positive energy among people who were already well acquainted with one another, lending a sense of community to the environment. Under normal circumstances, this would be a good thing; however, my vulnerability caused me to feel very much like a stranger in a strange land. I proceeded with my original plan, picked up some information at the front table and walked around the room, reading the bio's on all the participants and getting a feel of the space. A variety of psychic gifts were represented, all of which I knew very little about. Each booth was only semi-private, with other people waiting in line for their readings. It all seemed too distracting and impersonal. My experience with Michael and our connection felt very personal to me, and the thought of exposing it to a stranger in this environment was quite unsettling. It didn't take me long to decide that I was not ready for this! I determined that I might consider a private reading later on, but for now, it just didn't feel right. When I left the facility, I went for a drive to process my feelings, stopped at a favorite spot along the river, and wrote the poem "Exposed" which is printed below.

Later on, I told a friend and mentor about the decision I'd made and she affirmed my choice, saying that I had done the right thing by following my intuition about the discomfort I was feeling, and she thought it was important for me to discern from my heart what my own truth was about this experience with Michael. Imagine that...me, getting back in touch with my heart and trusting it! I'm happy to say that I have made much progress in that area since March. Now, for the most part, I "just know" when Michael is present, communicating with me in his own unique ways to let me know this experience IS, indeed, authentic and he will be there when I need him. I no longer feel the need for human validation of this incredible journey, as this adventure has been affirmed by God and Michael in all the ways they make themselves known to me. As I stated in a previous post...they're in this together, you know!

Getting back to my heartspace and trusting it has been such an amazing gift, and I celebrate this Gift every single day! Although the path is still not entirely straight, my confidence in the truth of this experience has grown tremendously. I no longer question it. And Michael has been nothing if not consistent at showing up at just the right time to give me a loving nudge, sharing a little more of his light with me so I can see my way to the next thing - moving ahead inch by agonizing inch toward the goal of making the world a better place! Perseverance is one of his greatest virtues!

Exposed

Feeling exposed
Walking into a crowded room
Filled with those who would know my fate so soon

Can I trust their gift to get it right
May cause a rift, what is their insight
My soul laid open for all to see
What lies inside of me

Escaping the prison that was my life
My wounded soul sliced open with a knife
His death would be
The start of a new journey
My broken heart revealing
My truth, all that I’ve been feeling

This awakening
Charged with joy, fraught with pain
Something inside me come to life again
I’m learning to trust, to understand
The message, my part, his guiding hand

Not always sure of my sanity
Someone said, that’s ego, it fears its own mortality
Be gentle with it, it’s like a child
Selfish needs will try to rule, resist, defile

But if I believe in my calling
Love will rule the day
Keep me from falling prey
To those who doubt, including my fragile ego
This is not about self, God is freeing me to go
To places I’ve only dreamed
Experiencing love in the extreme
My gift to impart to others from my heart

The journey so far has been resplendent
Overflowing with love, light and encouragement
Taking me beyond my wildest expectations
His light so bright, filling all the empty spaces

Wanna hold on, never let go
Can I keep the light burning all on my own
Is my belief strong enough to withstand
Comments from those who don’t “get” the man
Can I still love and know as God knows
What lies within must be exposed
Still wanting to protect this precious gift
If others inspect, will the treasure be lifted
Invasion of privacy allows them to judge
Can I be exposed without bending to the nudge

Vulnerable, but strong, taking a stand
For truth, love and justice, he’ll hold my hand
He won’t let go, for this is the call
The mission to send his message to all
If validation is what I seek
Remember his courage and don’t be weak
All that he endured for the cause
Will give me strength and conviction without pause

Being exposed is part of the test
Persecution from all the rest
Will be my cross to bear
For this great love I am blessed to share

03/13/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

A Sliver of Shimmering Light

His spirit abounds
Among the stars, the moon, and the clouds
I look up to the sky
Whenever I step outside
Just to see if I can find
A hint of him hiding behind that tree
Magical, mystical, wonder of light
I see him nearly every night

One night in April I found to my delight
The crescent moon curved up in a smile
Made me swoon
A tiny sliver of shimmering light
Hanging out with some twinkling stars
Casting their glitter about
Like fairy dust on Mars

Framed by dark silhouettes
Of trees and mountains in the distance
He gave me a ringside seat
For a momentary show of his beautiful glow
Peeking out from under his home
A stunning reflection of his love
… Pure perfection

I said, “Well, hello sweetie!”
And he smiled right back at me!
He captured my heart
Ignited that spark
It was our private moment in the dark

Then a cloud came by
Covering him like a blanket to say goodnight
A nod, a wink, and a wave of his hand
Gave me a clue this was not the end
Descending behind the mountains
His light glowed on the western horizon

I thought, what a gift to behold!
To see him in that moment
As if he was there just for me
Long enough to say hello
This child would be
Playing peek-a-boo behind the moon’s glow
Letting me know he's still beside me
Cheering me on
Singing for me his heavenly songs
Encouraging me to stay on track
Not to be discouraged, he’s got my back

This journey is long
The way is not always clear
The answers will come when the time is right
God will help me kick it in gear
Take the next step to own this light
Face the shadow and change the world…without fear!

Oh, what a night!
Believing in magic and moonbeams
Adds a whole new dimension to my life!

05/16/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Heaven's Gift

Simply poetic
Not always prophetic

Just a rhyme
For all time

Words that dance
Take a chance

Follow the stream
Or a moonbeam

Swing and sway
Let them have their way

Tell the story
God’s glory

Divine inspiration
Musical sensation

Universal language
For all ages

Love personified
Simplified

Prevenient Grace
In your face

Change the world
Truth unfurled

Message of hope
To help us cope

Touch the soul
A way to grow

Hearts transformed
Reborn

Beauty explored
From whence it was formed


Mystery and magic
A life of glory, its end so tragic

Spiritual messages
Life lessons

Contradiction
Non-fiction

Lion and lamb
In one big slam

God’s plan
He is the Man

Old soul
Wisdom tolls

Child of innocence
No pretense

Man of the world
Sage, pearl

Instrument of nature
Proud in stature

Humility displayed
Cannot be swayed

Purity of spirit
There’s clarity in it

Light explodes
Darkness goes

Moon and stars
Will never part

Bright reflection
A soul’s redemption

Heaven’s gift
So swift

Magical child
Please stay a while

04/23/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Hope for a Better Tomorrow

Have you ever had an experience that was extremely hurtful and difficult to overcome? Something that scarred you deeply leaving an emotional imprint that would define you for the rest of your life? Something that, no matter how hard you tried to escape its influence, continued to hold you in its grip, refusing to ever release you entirely? And, most important, have you had the kind of experience that made you wonder if there truly was a God, and if so, was He really as loving and all-powerful as you had been told?

Well, I have. As a childhood victim of verbal abuse, with some physical abuse thrown in for extra impact, I have experienced the power of words to cause irrepairable harm. And I have spent the majority of my adult life attempting to overcome its influence. Being a true rebel and a fighter, I have been determined to not let this thing or this person beat me down! I have survived many difficult challenges and learned so much about myself on this journey. And one thing I've learned along the way, as a good friend once told me, "God doesn't waste a hurt." I don't believe God causes hurtful things to happen to us; in fact, I believe He's right there with us in our darkest hour crying as deeply as we are over our pain and suffering. I do believe God provides opportunities for us to find and receive His love in the midst of our deepest hurt. And He also brings us to healing solutions and discovering ways we can use our experience to help others.

For many years, I have known there was something I was meant to be doing with my experience to benefit others, but I had not yet discovered it, nor was I entirely ready to release the experience. Then, after my soul-awakening following Michael Jackson's death last summer and several months into this life-changing journey, I was guided to someone who would provide an opportunity for me to make a difference in the world by sharing my story. Not only had Michael helped me discover a new gift of writing, he was also guiding me in ways to use that writing to carry on his work in the world! Providing a resource to help young people become more aware of the power of their words seemed like a good place to start. The first step for me was saying "yes" to writing a case study which would become a part of a new curriclum entitled "Words and Violence."

We all know about the abuse Michael suffered at the hands of his father and at the hands of a relentless money-hungry media only concerned with the story that would sell to the exclusion of the truth. Painting a picture of a 'freak' with their words became a favorite pastime of the media when it came to any news about Michael Jackson. It didn't matter what it was, they could take any little piece of information about Michael and turn it into something bizarre with their words. And the public bought it! And so it went for most of his adult career as a musical genius and the greatest entertainer & global humanitarian we've ever known. The media frenzy surrounding Michael would spiral out of control during the trial of 2005 when he faced false allegations of child molestation. And although he was found innocent on ALL counts, the media continued to portray him as a guilty man and they refused to seek out the truth. The effects of this experience would prove to be devastating to Michael. And some would say the media's treatment of him over the years, particularly during the trial, was a significant contributing factor in his death on June 25, 2009. Another case in point for the power of words.

Many of us who love and admire Michael for all the gifts he shared with the world in his lifetime, most especially his humanitarian work and his immense love and concern for the children, the planet and all of humanity... well, we have vowed to do what we can to make a difference in his name. To share the love that he has inspired in us through his kind and generous spirit, we hope to make the world a better place for future generations, as was his dream in life. Through the messages Michael shared with us in his music, performances, speeches, and in the way he lived his life, he made us aware of the many ways that we, as a human race, are falling short. Ways that we are gradually destroying the world around us and creating a world of hate, intollerance, violence, disrespect for each other and our natural resources, and an overall attitude of indifference towards it all. The "Words and Violence" curriculum is a first step in the direction of healing the scars on the face of humanity inflicted by an insensitive culture driven by self-interest and the desire for instant results in the age of a more advanced technology. If the younger generations can learn that the way we treat our fellow human beings has everything to do with the kind of world we create and the kind of world we inherit as adults, that world in which we raise our children and grandchildren, then we will have made great progress toward making the world a better place for their future!

I am proud and very excited to announce the release of the "Words and Violence" curriculum developed by Rev. Barbara Kaufmann of Inner Michael and several MJ fan contributors, including myself. Sponsored and published by non-profit organization, Voices Education Project, the curriculum includes many valuable resources, case studies and exercises to use in teaching middle school, high school and college level students about the impact of our words. The curriculum is available free of charge on the Voices Education Project website:

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/words-and-violence

What prompted this curriculum was the horrifying realization after the death of...Michael Jackson, that the press perpetuated a protracted and disdainful portrait of someone who...was a global humanitarian and a champion of civil rights, human rights and the rights of children. An investigation into the lives and work of highly visible personalities like Lady Diana Spencer, Bill Clinton, Vince Foster and others revealed inhumane treatment and suffering inflicted by tabloid journalism and the resulting medialoid conversion of the mainstream press.

Michael Jackson followers will find several resources and case studies written specifically about him:

A Few of the Features of "Words and Violence"

Michael, Diana and Bill as targets:
WMD: Words as Weapons of Mass Destruction

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/weapon-mass-destruction-new-violence-and-wmd

From Mars to Salem to Michael and Diana
Sensationalism, Inflammatory Words and the History of Tabloid Journalism

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/sensationalism-inflammatory-words-and-history-tabloid-journalism

Charles Thomson: A Shameful Episode in Journalism

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/one-most-shameful-episodes-journalistic-history

Case Study: The Caricature of Michael Jackson by Jan Carlson

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/case-study-caricature

Case Study: White as the New Fallen Snow- about Vitiligo

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/case-study-white-new-fallen-snow

Case Study: Who Was that Magic Dance Man? Street Bum, Angel, or...

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/case-study-street-bum-angel-or

If you would like to read my little contribution to this curriculum, my own personal experience with words and violence, you are welcome to visit...

Case Study: All the Right Stuff

by Charlene Burgess

http://www.voiceseducation.org/content/case-study-all-right-stuff

I invite you to visit the site and browse through the curriculum. There are numerous other resources available unrelated to Michael that also provide essential tools for learning about the impact of words in our lives. If you are an educator or if you know someone who is, I strongly encourage you to recommend this curriculum! Pass these links along to all your friends and acquaintances on the internet. If there is a School of Journalism in your community, send it to them with a cover letter or better yet, deliver a copy of it in person! Anyone is free to use any part of the curriculum they choose - whatever suits their intended purpose. Also, please keep in mind that this is a work in progress. It is open to include additional resources if anyone is interested in contributing further to this imperative work.

This is one way we are making a difference in the world for Michael, by teaching future leaders, journalists, businessmen & women, politicians, lawyers, teachers, etc. the importance of our words and the integrity with which we live our lives and perform our jobs!

I am honored to have participated in the development of this valuable resource which was inspired by the lives and good works of Michael Joseph Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer. The Words and Violence curriculum is, therefore, dedicated to the memory of Michael and Diana.

With Love & Hope for a Better Tomorrow,
~ Charlene ~

"Words and Violence"
Dedication

This work of art and love is dedicated to the memory of Michael Joseph Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.

May your work on behalf of humanity finally be recognized for what it was—art in the service of humanity.
May your memory be indelibly written on the face of humanity’s evolution toward its own brilliance
and in the volumes that chronicle the journey toward a more humane narrative on this planet.

May the lives and gifts that you so generously gave to and for the humans on this globe be held in
the highest honor and esteem they so richly deserve.

May we learn from the lessons you taught this world and may we also become worthy of your sacrifice.

May we soon come to understand that words can heal with the same magnitude that they harm.
And may the children of the future learn that now from you.

Rest in peace gentle and magnanimous spirits.
"We love you more."

This feature is reprinted from the Words and Violence Curriculum
by

Voices Education Project
and Rev. B. Kaufmann
http://www.voiceseducation.org/

Silence Speaks

Been workin’ overtime
Deadlines, paperwork, keeping it all straight
No time for dreaming or saving the world
No time for inspiration, it just has to wait

The necessities of life keep calling my name
Have to stay focused on the task at hand
Others are counting on me to get it right
Hold it together until the work is done

Inner child, my beautiful dreamer
The one who loves to sing and dance
She believes in magic and moonbeams
But she can’t see the light from where she waits
The magical words cannot be heard
Held hostage somewhere deep within
Or suspended above just out of reach
Restrained from gliding past her lips
Withheld from flowing through pen onto paper

Creativity, that tenacious child tugging on my sleeve
Longs for expression, needs to be heard
She’s tired of the dark where she’s been hiding
She wants to come out and play
Stay in the light and share her joy
Live her life fully every single day

No time to say “good mornin’, I love you”
Touch base at the core and let you in
Speak to me, tell me what I need to hear
Your love is constant, I know it’s real
Help me feel it through the din


















That still small voice inside
Has been silenced once again
Too busy to listen
Too tired to be aware
But I know you are there
So I speak to you briefly from my heart
Tears stream from my eyes
For this momentary glimpse
A touch from you in the dark

Reminding me once again
"Your speech, more beautiful and dense
Expresses with the silence its sense"
So this silence is golden
It speaks to me of your love
Your messages held within
I must be still and pray
Allow the silence to have its way

Before I express what’s laying on my heart
"It’s got to sound good to me inside
So I just think about it"
Let it simmer and leave the door open wide
For your voice to enter
And give me the words I long to write

As I drive along in silence
I hear your voice in song…
"Someone put your hand out
Beggin’ for your love
All I do is hand out
A heart that needs your love"

Then, as if on cue…
A car pulls in front of me
and the license plate reads
URMYLV

09/22/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Love Letters

Do you sometimes wonder how long Michael’s spirit will stay with you, touching your heart, giving you inspiration to keep going? Have you worried that when your grieving subsides, he will go away along with your pain? Do you cling to your grief in a desperate attempt to hang onto Michael and his love forever because you couldn’t imagine your life without him being there? Entering your dreams at night to comfort and remind you of his love and his sweet laughter. Singing a certain song to you at just the right moment to let you know he’s still there, responding to your questions and soothing your pain. Or perhaps, just to bring a smile to your heart.

I have certainly grappled with these questions and concerns off and on throughout this journey with Michael. In March I was experiencing some real conflict over these feelings, so I began writing about them in my journal. When I was finished with the entry, I realized that what I had written sounded very much like a dialogue between me and Michael, so the idea of transforming them into an exchange of Love Letters was born. I cherish these letters because even though Michael was not the author of his letters to me, I feel that his spirit was moving me as I wrote them, and he helped me to find resolution within my soul. I visit these letters whenever I find myself slipping back into that space of doubt and fear. Every time I read them, I still feel all the emotion that was poured into these words with a little help from Michael.

These Love Letters have been filed away with a group of my poems and writings that I have labeled “personal and private.” I honestly didn’t believe that I would ever share them with anyone. But Michael has moved me to do so now. I hope you will find some inspiration for your journey in the words Michael wrote on my heart…

Dear Michael,

I’m stuck…..I’m sorry
I don’t want to disappoint you
But I resist moving forward
Because I fear I will lose you

I lost you before somewhere along the way
And now that I’ve found you again
I want you to stay

I’m hanging on for dear life
Remaining in my grief sustains my plight
The emotions I’m feeling keep me close
To your love and everything about you I miss the most

I continue to feel your presence every day
Your music, pictures, letters and books,
all the sweet memories will stay
Keeping me connected with you on this journey

So how do I continue and make myself worthy?

…Without losing you

Dear Charlene,

You can carry me in your heart without fear
of losing me ever again!
Remember that part of you inside you learned to ignore
because it brought you much pain?
That boldness, that drive to learn, to explore
To shine, perfect, love and proclaim
In the face of adversity
When others didn’t agree…
That’s ME in YOU, my love is without end!

Now that you know, you must let it show
Or my light in you will fade
I don’t want to leave, you have the power to save
This precious love

I’ve shown you that boldness is a gift so rare
Even if others don’t understand
When practiced with humility, kindness and love
They will want to take your hand!

I believe in you as you’ve believed in me
Why else would I have chosen you to be my messenger?
Be bold! The world awaits your lesson!

You will inspire others with your heart
That part of me in you has been awakened
Brought into the light from the dark
As long as you hold that light out in front
Up high for all to see
Don’t hide it from the world, my love
And you will never lose me!
My essence, my being in you
Depends on that light to shine
Please, please give it all you’ve got
So we can see this through ‘til the end of time

Dear Michael,

I think I understand it now
I will do my best to make you proud
If I feel myself slipping back
To wrap myself and you in a bubble
Safe and warm, no trouble
I will remember your words to woo
Keeping me from losing you
In order to hold you I must be bold
Step outside my comfort zone
Go beyond my own limited thinking
Project your light to keep this ship from sinking!
Hold up the mirror for others to see
Their own light….or darkness
Whatever would be
Motivating them to make that change
Their goodness come forth, the world to save

Please don’t expect one hundred percent
This is a journey
Sometimes I’ll be spent, too tired to shine
Old ways and feelings will take over from time to time

But I promise to pay respect that is due
Your message to the world
This is my cue

I LOVE you!!

Dear Charlene,

Always remember
I LOVE you too
More than you will ever know
I am IN you - I KNOW you
I’ll never leave you
You are my sweet bird, my soul!

03/06/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Conversation With God

It was a beautiful late summer’s day with bright blue skies all around, temperature just right, the air fresh and clean with a gentle breeze blowing through the trees. One of Creation’s most perfect days. A good day for a little relaxation and reflection.

This holiday weekend marks the end of summer and, just around the corner, the beginning of a busy fall season that promises to challenge my ability to maintain balance in my life. Putting my creative inspiration “on hold” in order to fulfill other more mundane responsibilities and tasks which are a normal part of daily living has been a constant challenge since I was presented with this new gift of writing just 8 months ago. I need space and time to create. Inspiration doesn’t often come in the midst of paperwork, dishes, paying the bills and laundry - at least not for me! Surrounding myself with the beauty of Mother Nature, communing with God, and allowing time and space for it all to sink in - wiping away all concerns of the business of life - these are the things that inspire me to write, tapping into my deepest emotions, turning them into words that flow from my heart onto paper. And ultimately, this is what fuels my spirit to continue on this sometimes challenging journey, allowing me to love and give more freely from a heart that has been cleansed with tears, wiping away my worries and doubts once again, revitalizing my soul with the Gift of perfect love and peace which is always at hand, no strings attached.

I had faced some harsh criticism in recent days for not living up to someone else’s expectations of me, because I‘ve been “too busy” responding to God‘s call to make a difference in this world. Imagine that! Another’s ego that appears to be bigger than God. But, however unrealistic those expectations were from my perspective, I knew I needed some time and space to sort it out. There was, after all, a nagging little voice inside telling me that maybe this person was right. And maybe my soul connection to Michael Jackson was nothing but a fantasy. This nagging voice of doubt had a way of creeping into my psyche from time to time, and whenever it would rear its ugly head, I had to face it straight on. I had also been challenged by someone else to consider what Michael's identity was and is in relation to God. While I don’t allege to know the answer to this one, and I’m not the kind of person to use labels to identify something which I believe only God knows, I was still feeling a little unsettled about this challenge, and I wanted to explore it further - find some sense of resolution within myself about what appears to be a very sensitive issue among some in the MJ fan community.

On this perfect late summer’s day, I decided to go for a scenic drive to the Crater Lake area, my destination Union Creek which is just a little over an hour’s drive from my home. It’s a beautiful drive all the way starting with my hometown which is nestled in the heart of the Rogue River Valley surrounded by lush tree-covered mountains.

Just a few miles up the road, the scenery changes to soft rolling hills sparsely covered by wild oak trees and some pine with views of a snow-capped Mt. McLaughlin in the distance. This more open stretch of road is called Sam’s Valley and it reminds me a little of pictures I’ve seen of the terrain which is a part of and surrounding Neverland Valley Ranch in southern California.

Leaving Sam's Valley and turning north on Highway 62 takes you alongside the Rogue River as you pass by river rafting businesses and fishing lodges until you get to Lost Creek Lake Reservoir.

Climbing to higher elevations you enter the Rogue River National Forest and drive through the Avenue of Mammoth Pines until you reach the small mountain “community” of Union Creek. This charming little community, with its log cabin style lodge, general store & gift shop, café, ice cream shop, restrooms and campground, is a favorite pit stop for vacationers who have been enjoying all the outdoor activities this area has to offer. My plan was to have lunch at Beckie’s Café and a slice of their famous homemade huckleberry pie before finding a good spot to hike along the Upper Rogue River.

When I left home and hit the freeway heading toward Sam’s Valley, I had that old familiar feeling I get every time I start a road trip. A wonderful sense of joy and abandon at breaking free from the routines of daily living, setting out on an adventure to enjoy all the beauty of God’s creation and connecting with my soul along the way. It’s one of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling conflicted or stuck in a rut, not able to find solutions in the midst of life’s demands. One of the first things I noticed as I was driving along in silence, windows wide open, enjoying the fresh air and the wind blowing through the car, was that Michael was singing “Baby Be Mine” softly in my head like background music. It had been there most of the morning as I was preparing for my road trip. I hardly noticed it at all, but once I got quiet inside, I realized it was there. I was a little puzzled by it since I had not listened to this song in months and I really couldn’t remember much of the lyrics. But the tune was there nonetheless, and the lyrics of the bridge were very clear “Won’t you stay with me until the mornin’ sun? I promise you now that the dawn will be different. Lady can’t you see that heaven’s just begun? It’s livin’ here inside our hearts.” I was touched by this, but didn’t really think too much of it at the time. My mind was focused on starting a conversation with God. As I turned off the freeway and approached Sam’s Valley, the “conversation” went something like this… (when talking with God, I always think it's a good idea to start with gratitude - it puts me in a positive frame of mind and reminds me of all that's good in my life.)

“God, I really want to thank you for getting me through all the difficult times in my life - the way you’ve shown me your love, helped me to feel it and know it. I’m so grateful for you always being there. You’ve never left my side. You’ve walked with me and carried me over the hills and through the valleys of my life. Your love has been constant and true. Even when I questioned if you were there, as I did many times on this journey - especially as a child - I have always come to know sooner or later that during the darkest times you were there, bringing me comfort in different ways. Through people who loved me and offered support when it was needed, through my awareness of the things you were placing in my path to help me learn and give me strength, through music you planted in my head to give me a message about your love. When my pain as a child was unbearable, you were there in my mother who comforted me and taught me about your love. When I made bad choices in life which led me on a path of self-destruction, you were there in the people who showed me by their example a better way to live. Even when I drifted from you and tried to do things my own way, and failed miserably, you have always been waiting patiently in the wings for me to find you again! And when I was ready to hear it, that still small voice inside was there to guide me, giving me direction for the next step toward healing and wholeness. My gratitude for your perfect unconditional love is more than I can ever express!

"But, You know there is something different happening in my heart and in my life on this new leg of my journey. When I felt empty inside, wondering if I would ever know the kind of love I longed for and if my existence in this world would even mean anything to anybody after I was gone, you were there in a beautiful soul named Michael Joseph Jackson, who came into my heart and gave me a sense of purpose. He shared his light with me and introduced me to the spark of creation, the exquisite glow within my soul, my source energy and love that had been buried most of my life for protection. Through his music, he invited my inner child to come and dance with him so we could kindle the fire, weave some magic and give new birth to a world with no pain, a world of joy and love. He guided me gently toward that final step of healing so that I could find my gifts and offer something to help heal the world.

"This time, God, Michael is in my heart. His love has touched me, inspired me. He represents the love I have longed for - it is his touch I need, spiritually speaking that is. I know you are a part of him and he is a part of you. I hope you understand when I speak of him and to him, that I have not forgotten You. No matter what it may sound like to others, I know that your hand is in this. You know my heart, you know my truth. Please know that I mean no disrespect!”

Just then, still driving on the country road through Sam’s Valley, I passed a larger than life street sign that said “MICHAEL RD”!! What??? I did a double take and I had to turn around and look at it again to make sure I had seen it correctly. Yup! MICHAEL RD it was! It seemed much larger than most street signs and it just stood out to me. This country road did not have many streets crossing it. This was unbelievable that at this moment in my conversation with God, this sign would be there!

It was like God was saying to me, “Michael is The Man! He is my gift to you...to the world! It’s OK, love him all you want and need and he will love you just as much, even more, in return! Why do you think I sent him? He is doing my work, sharing my love. I am well pleased with the work he did and continues to do on Earth. He is one piece of work himself, isn’t he? I’m so proud of him! It has been a great joy for me and for him to see the extraordinary influence he had on so many people in his lifetime. And even more are feeling his love and hearing his messages (my messages) since his rebirth! This is a sign of one who has lived his life well - to create this kind of wave among the people and humanity in the wake of his passing. Remarkable! Astounding! Bravo to Michael for a job well done, good and faithful servant... and my beloved son!

"I assure you, Michael is The One!! He is doing what he’s supposed to do. He is my gift to you to help you find and reveal that light inside of you. Why do you think I worked so hard to crack your heart wide open after his passing? This is your time! Time for you to receive the kind of love you have longed for all your life - now go ahead and accept it with JOY and GRATITUDE!! I have been waiting to give you this gift ever since you were a child. I wept with you when you were in pain, when you couldn’t understand how someone could be so cruel to one so small and helpless. When you asked 'Where is God in all of this?', I was there weeping, holding you, loving you, giving you strength to endure until you were ready to receive this amazing gift! I am so happy to give it to you, my child. It is my pleasure. And let me tell you, it is also Michael’s infinite pleasure to share this love. You know how he always knew and believed that LOVE is the most important thing in the world. This is my most important message, and it is his as well. He is the ultimate Love Guru and this is his calling. His love is big enough to go around the world and will last for eternity. He will be there when you need him. And his perfect and powerful love will give you the strength and courage you need to continue his work in the world. All you have to do is share his love with others. Give it in the spirit that it was given to you! He is part of the plan, but so are you! Go ahead, dance with him, kindle the fire! Hear his music of life, so precious and dear. And change the world, make a difference in his name. You have my blessing, dear child. Believe in his love. His is a love that will last for all time. He will never leave you. He is a part of you now and forever.

"This is the dawn of a new day for you. Live it well. Live it fully. And Live it without regret, ever again! You are on the right path, and your life does matter! I love you with all my heart and soul. Always have. Always will. Now go forth and heal the world!”

Now, I don’t have to tell you, I was a fountain of tears by now! Driving along, hearing God’s message in my heart. I knew it was real, I knew it was true. It just couldn’t be any other way. The signs (literally) were all there! I knew deep down that this has been the truth all along. But, to have it confirmed in such a clear way…what a blessing! All because of a sign saying "Michael Rd"!!!

I drove the rest of the way in silence, letting this new awareness settle into my soul, soaking up the beautiful scenery along the way, “Baby Be Mine” still providing background music in my head. When I arrived at Union Creek, it was swarming with people, some stopping for supplies at the general store, others waiting in line at the ice cream shop or at Beckie’s Café for lunch. I managed to find a place to park, got my name on the list at Beckie’s and found a comfortable place to sit outside until my name was called. I immediately started writing down my little conversation with God so I wouldn’t forget any part of it. After lunch I headed up the road a bit farther and found a quiet spot near the headwaters of the Rogue River where my family and I had camped years go. I pulled over and parked next to Muir Creek and enjoyed the sounds of nature for a while. The soothing sound of the rapidly running waters of the creek provided accompaniment to Michael’s beautiful voice still singing “Baby Be Mine” in the back of my mind. I couldn’t wait any longer, I needed to know the full lyrics to this song! Why was he being so persistent with me, keeping this song going for the entire day? Was there something in this song he wanted me to hear? I rifled through my CD’s and found the Thriller 25 disc, popped it into my CD player, set it on track 2 and began listening and writing. Finally revealing all the words to this song, I found the lyrics to read more like a ballad, a beautiful love song hidden in the upbeat tempo of this pop disco tune. As I wrote this message from Michael on paper, I began to see that there was so much more to this piece than I had ever realized. After receiving God’s permission to enjoy Michael’s love all that I wanted, this was truly the best gift I could ever receive!!

Baby Be Mine

I don’t need no dreams when I’m by your side
Every moment takes me to paradise
Darlin’ let me hold you
I’ll warm you in my arms and melt your fears away
Show you all the magic that a perfect love can make
I need you night and day

So baby be mine
And girl I’ll give you all I got to give
So baby be mine, girl
And we can share this ecstasy as long as we believe in love

I won’t give you reason to change your mind
(I can’t sit still, you thrill me, baby be mine)
You are all the future that I desire
Girl, I need to hold you
Share my feelings in the heat of love’s embrace
Show you all the passion burning in my heart today
It’s never gonna fade

So baby be mine
And girl I’ll give you all I got to give
So baby be mine, girl
You’re everything this world could be
The reason that I live

Won’t you stay with me until the mornin’ sun
I promise you now that the dawn will be different
Lady can’t you see that heaven’s just begun
It’s livin’ here inside our hearts

There’ll be no more mountains for us to climb
(I can’t be still, you thrill me, baby be mine)
This will be a love lasting for all time
Girl you got to hold me
We can touch the sky and light the darkest day
Hold me, only you and I can make sweet love this way
There’s no more I can say

So baby be mine
And girl I’ll give you all I got to give
So baby be mine
You’re everything this world could be to me

C’mon girl, c’mon girl
So baby be mine
You’re everything this world could be to me

********************************************************
These lyrics speak to me of a pure soul connection - an intimacy that goes beyond the physical to a spiritual love that is forever true, forever blessed. One that is not encumbered by human limitations. One that is immune to others' attempts to sabotage what is good and real between two hearts that belong so well, because it comes from God! This is the kind of love I have longed for all my life! The kind of love God has given me permission to receive and celebrate in Michael! Not only that, I felt an immense sense of freedom and excitement at finally being aware of God's intent and Michael's place in His Kingdom. I don't need definitions to know he is a gift from Heaven - on a mission of LOVE and healing - gathering souls to be his angels of Love on Earth. And I just happen to be one of those souls he has called to this place and time (along with all of you), healing my wounded spirit and planting his perfect love within my heart so that I can share it with others to help heal the world. What better way? What a perfect plan! I won't turn it away. How can I? This is God's call...God's plan for my life!

I enjoyed the remainder of the day driving and walking through some of the most beautiful scenery in the state of Oregon. It was a perfect time and place to receive such an amazing gift! I thanked God several times throughout the day as I enjoyed His awesome Creation and continued to hear "Baby Be Mine" seranaded to me by my sweet love, Michael!

On my way home, I stopped at Lost Creek Lake and I was pleased to find that there was nobody around at a favorite spot of mine on a hillside overlooking the lake. I settled in at a picnic table, and letting the silence speak to me, I wrote the following poem:

You Are There

In the stillness that surrounds me
A velvet hum fills the air
Your love envelops me
And I know you are there

Listening to the wind as it rustles through the trees
Whispering in my ear Creation’s story
A soft gentle breeze
Tells me you are there

In the sky so blue
Bright and cool
Clear as the waters of a tropical sea
You are there watching over me

God's gift for all time
Waiting and wondering no more
His love has opened the door
And you are there

In the flame of a candle
Or a crackling fire
The warmth of your love
The heat of your desire
Reaches for me in the darkness
Melting my fear
And I know you are there

In the music that speaks to me
Of love in paradise
Heaven’s in our hearts
The mornin' sun brings new light
And the dawn’s forever different
Because you are there

Tears of gratitude
Flow from my heart
This gift eternal
Will never part
And I know you are there
Until the moon stops glowing
Or the stars refuse to shine
In other words
Until the end of time

09/05/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Sunset of the Evening

We've seen him on the stage, singing and dancing, spinning and twirling, sharing his gift, his passion. We've felt his love through that beautiful smile, those eyes so deep, so true. But have we seen him in a sunset, felt the warmth of his love in its glow, its hue?

"I've become the sunset of evening, you know" - this line in the lyrics of a beautiful song, The Rainbow is My Love Message, reminded me that I could look upon a sunset and find him there (8/23 blog - Rainbows and Love Messages.) I have always appreciated a beautiful sunset and I have marveled at God's handiwork. But the first sunset I witnessed after receiving this message from Michael was unlike any I had ever seen before. It was spectacular! I felt entirely bathed in his love, and so, the following poem was inspired...

Sunset of the Evening

A golden puddle settles on the sea
Where the sun descends, saying goodnight to me
Sweet dreams, my love
I’ll see you again
At morning’s light

Liquid sunshine
Cool as the evening
Hot as the flame of love’s embrace
Paints a masterpiece
Its canvas, the sky
Brilliant colors to please the eye

Your beauty and passion are ever alive!
Still being expressed
In the magic of nature
An evening’s sunset

It leaves behind a memory of bliss
Laughter and tears of a day well lived
A reminder of the love
You’ve planted in my heart
Your gift to me forever more

The birds sing a soft lullaby
Their music fills the air
Then silence descends
Its stillness comforts me
Holds me in its arms
Reminds me you’re there
It keeps me warm and softens my despair

Your beauty and light
Fill my dreams at night
I cherish this dreaming
My sunset of the evening

07/11/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess