I know what’s beautiful Looking at you Fireflies that light up in the night Dewdrops on a flower in the morning sun Stars that sparkle and dance in the sky A bird singing her lullaby Summer rain, its sweet fragrance filling the air An evening’s sunset that makes me sigh
Through the eyes of a poet You take me there
I know what’s beautiful Looking at you Your smile, so innocent and bright The light in your eyes when you look upon a child The way you just know what’s right Your soul that glows from within Dignity and grace in all its glory Your love that touches me, lends its light
The truth of your heart The telling of your story
I know what’s beautiful Looking at you Sunlight bursting through the clouds on a beam A falling star on a warm summer night Dolphins that frolic in the sea An eagle commanding the air in flight Children at play on a beautiful day Their innocence and magic, laughter and glee
Fireworks On the 4th of July
I know what’s beautiful
Looking at you
Dancing in your arms ‘til the break of dawn
Whispers of love at morning’s light
Holding you close ‘til the pain is gone
A touch to say it’s gonna be alright
Feeling your heartbeat next to mine
While in your embrace, you sing me your song
Did someone tell you You weren't good enough Belittling and bullying to make you feel small Is that why you thought you should pass it along
Reclaiming your power to make you feel tall
Daddy dear, What did you fear?
Forever a prisoner of your own mistakes Losing hopes and dreams When others held your fate Your life coming apart at the seams
Daddy dear, What did you fear?
Did I get in the way Of everything you hoped to be one day Was it my light, my passion, my love for life Did I challenge you to look in the mirror Did my radiance cause you fright
Daddy dear, What did you fear?
The legacy of your forefathers Passed down through the ages Being threatened by a new generation Calling your authority into question
Daddy dear, What did you fear?
Loss of control in a world that was changing Turning to love Hearts and souls rearranging Boomers coming of age to work it out Standing for justice We would sing and shout
Daddy dear, What did you fear?
Was it love, peace or equal rights Freedom of speech, truth or justice When we got tough 'cause we'd had enough And we wouldn't give up the fight
Daddy dear, What did you fear?
Did you not understand God's purpose God's plan For a world filled with love, no more fear God's dream was in our hands, daddy dear! Don't you know there's only one way Truth and Love are here to stay
Daddy dear, Why do you still fear?
I pray that you will find your peace Forever held in God's loving embrace Don't worry 'bout me I'm finding my way Through the clutter of doubt In a world gone astray It's time to finally make that change For a better tomorrow For the whole human race
Daddy dear, Have no more fear!
Your trials are coming to an end I forgive you, daddy And I'm moving on For God has given me a true love friend
I’m so sorry I was not there To lift you up, let you know I cared When things got tough, the world so cruel It wasn’t enough just to say “those fools!”
Your dignity was trampled Your light snuffed out Your faith in humanity Was plagued with doubt
How could one so gentle and pure Be tortured more than anyone could endure?
You always gave your love and kindness Showing us how to be our best For this they told the horrid lies For money and greed, to claim the prize
Your soul did not matter They held your heart on a platter To be diced and sliced, chopped into bits They were not nice, but you took the hits Held yourself with dignity and grace You stood tall, the demons to face
And even though you were found innocent The light in your eyes would remain reticent Never to quite fully recover Its former brilliance went undercover
Safe and protected from the enemies of your heart Cushioned from harm you made a new start Healed a bit, but still not the same Your light was beginning to burn through the shame Peaking through the shield of pain It started to shine from your soul once again
This Is It was the plan A gift for the fans We were thrilled beyond measure Singing and dancing your dream, your adventure You would give us such pleasure!
To us, your brilliance was never gone We held you in our hearts all along Waiting for your wounded soul to heal Returning to the stage to make us feel The heat and passion of your love and affection We would once again be wooed by your amazing perfection!
Then….out of the blue your life was taken from this world On June twenty-fifth, our minds were in a whirl Can it be true? Is this for real? In shock and disbelief, we could not feel
Numbed by the news, the world went silent The stage was now empty, your light stolen from it
Is there something we could’ve done to prevent it? Loved you more? Healed the planet? Would that have changed your story in the end? Would sleep have been your friend? Did we not do enough while you were here To show appreciation for your gifts so dear?
For sacrifices made to deliver the message, was our offering no more than a mere vestige? A sample so small, you couldn’t see That you were making a difference How could this be?
We let you down, fell prey to the shadow Apathy conveyed through our lives so shallow Did you have to die for us to know The importance of your life, your message, your show?
If we had only been more like a true friend Listened to your heart from the start You knew all along that what you had to share Was critical for the world to hear You tried… gave us everything you had Your joy, your anger, the good and the “Bad”
We heard your message, but didn’t respond We just wanted a piece of you ’cause we were so fond Your love was pure, your beauty bright Your sweetness made our hearts take flight
And even though you loved our adoration It wasn’t enough to prevent your ultimate submission The pain was too much, the darkness very real It took you from us, I don’t think we’ll ever heal
I’m not sure what I could’ve done Written a letter? Called you on the phone? I am nobody… would you have known? Could I have made a difference, kept you from goin’?
Put the light back in your eyes for the world to see? Restored your faith in humanity? Taken your pain? Kissed and made it all better? Turned the rain into sunshine with just a letter?
Now that I know, now that you’re gone I cannot change it, the past is said and done But I can beg forgiveness for my apathy Try to make a difference in your name… throughout eternity
The messages you worked so hard to impart Continue to be real, still rendered from your heart Now free of limitations I can do my part Heal the world, change human relations What I should’ve done from the very start
Making amends to you in this way Will not bring you back, but it will make “them” pay Justice for you will take a new form For love and kindness will become the norm
All who love you are joining hands A gesture of unity among your fans creating a new community With love at the center of all we do Your lessons remembered, this is our cue To make the world a better place…for you!
Let us not forget, always respect Your example was perfect No need to change it…dissect it…or reject it
May the Force of Love continue in your name, Dear Michael… One who is most like God
Christmas Day 2009...Six months since Michael's death. Six months of extreme emotions and still not understanding it all. Why was his death affecting me so powerfully? And why was I persistently compelled to learn more about this man, and driven to dig deeper with every discovery? I didn't know the answers to these questions, but I did know that God was moving mountains inside of me, and there had to be a very good reason. The love that was growing in my heart for a man I never knew was very real and intense. The palpable reality of a world in need of change along with a growing awareness that I was somehow to play a part in its healing became more apparent to me as time went on. But I still didn't understand the "How?" or the "Why?" of it. And, to add to this challenge, there was a nagging, shadowy doubt that would visit me frequently along this path, causing me to question the validity of my experience. In spite of that, a part of me knew that no matter how confused I was about all of this, I just needed to believe, and to know that God would reveal what I needed to know when I needed to know it.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I had been feeling called to the ocean. The last time I was near the ocean was about a week after Michael’s death, when I bought his “Number Ones” CD and began listening to his music again after many years without it. I drove through the majestic Redwoods and all along the Northern California coastline while listening to him sing to me those familiar tunes...his passion and energy infusing itself into the deepest part of my soul! I had forgotten how powerful that energy was - it was beginning to work its magic on me once again, touching me and opening my heart after years of living in a self-imposed protective bubble. It was the beginning of a remarkable journey of discovery for me. It was also the beginning of my extreme grief over his loss - to myself and to the world.
A private coastal retreat over the Christmas holiday in 2009 would prove to be a major turning point on this journey. Michael's spirit touched me in a way that is difficult to explain. Three days entirely devoted to communing with nature...meditating and talking with God...listening to Michael's music...and writing daily journal entries after 6 months of intense grieving and soul awakening moments, would set the stage for a remarkable spiritual experience and an unwavering connection to Michael. He found a way to let me know in a very personal and clear manner that not only was this connection very real, but also that he wasn't going anywhere - that he would stay with me through this experience and I could count on it! I felt in my heart as if Michael's commitment was God's gift to give me strength for the journey ahead.
The day I was to return home from my ocean retreat was the day I wrote my very first poem. It was short and sweet, a simple verse, but the words flowed through me like running water. I'd never had that experience before and it was quite profound! I cherished that little verse because I thought it was the only poem I would ever write - my "Christmas Sun" miracle - but God and Michael had other plans for me. This new gift of writing was also here to stay!
O Christmas Sun
O Christmas Sun, My Love, My Light You’ve given me strength to endure the night In a fleeting moment you did appear You gave me hope, took away my fear You touched my soul, so deep, so true And brought me joy at the sight of you Your heart is warm, your beauty bright Your gift is Love, My Sun, My Light! ~ Forever and Always, Michael… “I thank God!” ~ Charlene ~
Several months and many poems later, on a beautiful spring day in March, I went to a local park on my lunch break. Enjoying the warmth of the sun as well as the sights and sounds of children playing, I was inspired to write the following poem...
Here To Stay
It's a beautiful Spring day The leaves of April are on their way The sun warms me through and through Love so intense coming from you
Reminds me of that Christmas Day Not so long ago You let me know You were here to stay
You offered your light and said, "Let it be your strength… forthright…your soul set free! Share the warmth with tender care And remember... Love is the temptress, the gentle snare
When challenged, hold fast, shine your light, be true to yourself, you know what's right Your soul was created to carry this cross With courage and vision, commitment to the cause
Facing down your doubts and fears when those who judge come forth to jeer Confronting, challenging the truth as you know it
Just breathe… Remember the love... Remember to show it."
I will call forth the lessons you left behind For others to hear Change their minds Their hearts transformed, no longer conformed
Love is the weapon of choice to use In defense of your voice, my heavenly muse Your beauty, your courage, displayed through me The Gift illuminated for all to see
Higher expectations, raising the bar You’re still getting our attention from afar!
You knew that, didn’t you?…goin’ in Your light would be forever stayin’ In the hearts of those who’d be your messengers The legend to tell…your truth…lessons learned
Children at play On this beautiful day Remind me of all you stood for Their souls so pure Would be the lure Your music inspired, to open the door
Help us to see the need that exists To care for and love them without remiss Value their souls, so they can be Happy and whole, their very best
You've asked us to nurture These little ones So close to God For they are the hope of the future Why would anyone consider this odd?
They will carry your message, your perfect love, for generations to come They’ll see the world become a better place Turn this one ‘round, change its face!
Years from now when I look back To see what kept me on track The sun warming me through and through Love so intense coming from you I’ll remember that Christmas Day So long ago When you let me know You were here to stay
Several months into this journey with Michael, my confidence in what I was experiencing continued to grow. But it was by no means a straight path! Trust in my intuition as well as belief in Michael's presence would take many dips along the way into that dark pool of doubt. And sometimes the notion that Michael Jackson's spirit could actually be touching base with ME just seemed too outrageous to be true! I mean, we're talking the biggest star in the world here! There were times when the reality of this would hit me and I would ask myself why I would ever think that Michael Jackson would even have the slightest notion of who I was. It just seemed insane at times!! It didn't always make sense from a practical standpoint, and that was the gauge I was accustomed to using - my practical sense of earthly things - things I could see with my own eyes. My faith in God was probably about the only exception to this. In every other spiritual sense, I had been playing it safe far too long and had very little trust in things unseen or in matters of the heart and soul.
I had been considering attending a local "Holistic Faire" for some time to get a reading from someone with psychic abilities. I didn't know much about it, but I had been to one of these faires previously with my daughter, sat with her and took notes while she received a reading. I was mostly curious to hear what someone with this special gift would feel or sense coming from me or in the energy field around me. In a way, I think I was wanting to receive some kind of validation of what I was experiencing. A complex mix of thoughts and feelings were having their way with me about taking this risk - putting myself out there to be examined on a spiritual level by a complete stranger. Not knowing how reliable their "gift" would be and knowing that mistakes could be made caused an inner conflict with my need for validation. What would I hear? And what would I DO with that information? Most important, how would it effect my own perception of my personal experience? Would the reading be so vague that I would not find the answers I was seeking; consequently, adding even more weight to the doubt which already plagued me from time to time?
In March, after much inner deliberation, I made the decision to attend the Holistic Faire. The plan was to just wander around the room to get a feel for who was there, how I was feeling about being there, and to make a decision at that time whether I would go for a reading. Well, almost as soon as I entered the building, I felt a sense of dis-ease about it, but I wasn't entirely sure why. There were many people attending this faire, so there was a noticeable "buzz" in the room. It was a positive energy among people who were already well acquainted with one another, lending a sense of community to the environment. Under normal circumstances, this would be a good thing; however, my vulnerability caused me to feel very much like a stranger in a strange land. I proceeded with my original plan, picked up some information at the front table and walked around the room, reading the bio's on all the participants and getting a feel of the space. A variety of psychic gifts were represented, all of which I knew very little about. Each booth was only semi-private, with other people waiting in line for their readings. It all seemed too distracting and impersonal. My experience with Michael and our connection felt very personal to me, and the thought of exposing it to a stranger in this environment was quite unsettling. It didn't take me long to decide that I was not ready for this! I determined that I might consider a private reading later on, but for now, it just didn't feel right. When I left the facility, I went for a drive to process my feelings, stopped at a favorite spot along the river, and wrote the poem "Exposed" which is printed below.
Later on, I told a friend and mentor about the decision I'd made and she affirmed my choice, saying that I had done the right thing by following my intuition about the discomfort I was feeling, and she thought it was important for me to discern from my heart what my own truth was about this experience with Michael. Imagine that...me, getting back in touch with my heart and trusting it! I'm happy to say that I have made much progress in that area since March. Now, for the most part, I "just know" when Michael is present, communicating with me in his own unique ways to let me know this experience IS, indeed, authentic and he will be there when I need him. I no longer feel the need for human validation of this incredible journey, as this adventure has been affirmed by God and Michael in all the ways they make themselves known to me. As I stated in a previous post...they're in this together, you know!
Getting back to my heartspace and trusting it has been such an amazing gift, and I celebrate this Gift every single day! Although the path is still not entirely straight, my confidence in the truth of this experience has grown tremendously. I no longer question it. And Michael has been nothing if not consistent at showing up at just the right time to give me a loving nudge, sharing a little more of his light with me so I can see my way to the next thing - moving ahead inch by agonizing inch toward the goal of making the world a better place! Perseverance is one of his greatest virtues!
Exposed
Feeling exposed Walking into a crowded room Filled with those who would know my fate so soon
Can I trust their gift to get it right May cause a rift, what is their insight My soul laid open for all to see What lies inside of me
Escaping the prison that was my life My wounded soul sliced open with a knife His death would be The start of a new journey My broken heart revealing My truth, all that I’ve been feeling
This awakening Charged with joy, fraught with pain Something inside me come to life again I’m learning to trust, to understand The message, my part, his guiding hand
Not always sure of my sanity Someone said, that’s ego, it fears its own mortality Be gentle with it, it’s like a child Selfish needs will try to rule, resist, defile
But if I believe in my calling Love will rule the day Keep me from falling prey To those who doubt, including my fragile ego This is not about self, God is freeing me to go To places I’ve only dreamed Experiencing love in the extreme My gift to impart to others from my heart
The journey so far has been resplendent Overflowing with love, light and encouragement Taking me beyond my wildest expectations His light so bright, filling all the empty spaces
Wanna hold on, never let go Can I keep the light burning all on my own Is my belief strong enough to withstand Comments from those who don’t “get” the man Can I still love and know as God knows What lies within must be exposed Still wanting to protect this precious gift If others inspect, will the treasure be lifted Invasion of privacy allows them to judge Can I be exposed without bending to the nudge
Vulnerable, but strong, taking a stand For truth, love and justice, he’ll hold my hand He won’t let go, for this is the call The mission to send his message to all If validation is what I seek Remember his courage and don’t be weak All that he endured for the cause Will give me strength and conviction without pause
Being exposed is part of the test Persecution from all the rest Will be my cross to bear For this great love I am blessed to share
His spirit abounds Among the stars, the moon, and the clouds I look up to the sky Whenever I step outside Just to see if I can find A hint of him hiding behind that tree Magical, mystical, wonder of light I see him nearly every night
One night in April I found to my delight The crescent moon curved up in a smile Made me swoon A tiny sliver of shimmering light Hanging out with some twinkling stars Casting their glitter about Like fairy dust on Mars
Framed by dark silhouettes Of trees and mountains in the distance He gave me a ringside seat For a momentary show of his beautiful glow Peeking out from under his home A stunning reflection of his love … Pure perfection
I said, “Well, hello sweetie!” And he smiled right back at me! He captured my heart Ignited that spark It was our private moment in the dark
Then a cloud came by Covering him like a blanket to say goodnight A nod, a wink, and a wave of his hand Gave me a clue this was not the end Descending behind the mountains His light glowed on the western horizon
I thought, what a gift to behold! To see him in that moment As if he was there just for me Long enough to say hello This child would be Playing peek-a-boo behind the moon’s glow Letting me know he's still beside me Cheering me on Singing for me his heavenly songs Encouraging me to stay on track Not to be discouraged, he’s got my back
This journey is long The way is not always clear The answers will come when the time is right God will help me kick it in gear Take the next step to own this light Face the shadow and change the world…without fear!
Oh, what a night! Believing in magic and moonbeams Adds a whole new dimension to my life!
Have you ever had an experience that was extremely hurtful and difficult to overcome? Something that scarred you deeply leaving an emotional imprint that would define you for the rest of your life? Something that, no matter how hard you tried to escape its influence, continued to hold you in its grip, refusing to ever release you entirely? And, most important, have you had the kind of experience that made you wonder if there truly was a God, and if so, was He really as loving and all-powerful as you had been told?
Well, I have. As a childhood victim of verbal abuse, with some physical abuse thrown in for extra impact, I have experienced the power of words to cause irrepairable harm. And I have spent the majority of my adult life attempting to overcome its influence. Being a true rebel and a fighter, I have been determined to not let this thing or this person beat me down! I have survived many difficult challenges and learned so much about myself on this journey. And one thing I've learned along the way, as a good friend once told me, "God doesn't waste a hurt." I don't believe God causes hurtful things to happen to us; in fact, I believe He's right there with us in our darkest hour crying as deeply as we are over our pain and suffering. I do believe God provides opportunities for us to find and receive His love in the midst of our deepest hurt. And He also brings us to healing solutions and discovering ways we can use our experience to help others.
For many years, I have known there was something I was meant to be doing with my experience to benefit others, but I had not yet discovered it, nor was I entirely ready to release the experience. Then, after my soul-awakening following Michael Jackson's death last summer and several months into this life-changing journey, I was guided to someone who would provide an opportunity for me to make a difference in the world by sharing my story. Not only had Michael helped me discover a new gift of writing, he was also guiding me in ways to use that writing to carry on his work in the world! Providing a resource to help young people become more aware of the power of their words seemed like a good place to start. The first step for me was saying "yes" to writing a case study which would become a part of a new curriclum entitled "Words and Violence."
We all know about the abuse Michael suffered at the hands of his father and at the hands of a relentless money-hungry media only concerned with the story that would sell to the exclusion of the truth. Painting a picture of a 'freak' with their words became a favorite pastime of the media when it came to any news about Michael Jackson. It didn't matter what it was, they could take any little piece of information about Michael and turn it into something bizarre with their words. And the public bought it! And so it went for most of his adult career as a musical genius and the greatest entertainer & global humanitarian we've ever known. The media frenzy surrounding Michael would spiral out of control during the trial of 2005 when he faced false allegations of child molestation. And although he was found innocent on ALL counts, the media continued to portray him as a guilty man and they refused to seek out the truth. The effects of this experience would prove to be devastating to Michael. And some would say the media's treatment of him over the years, particularly during the trial, was a significant contributing factor in his death on June 25, 2009. Another case in point for the power of words.
Many of us who love and admire Michael for all the gifts he shared with the world in his lifetime, most especially his humanitarian work and his immense love and concern for the children, the planet and all of humanity... well, we have vowed to do what we can to make a difference in his name. To share the love that he has inspired in us through his kind and generous spirit, we hope to make the world a better place for future generations, as was his dream in life. Through the messages Michael shared with us in his music, performances, speeches, and in the way he lived his life, he made us aware of the many ways that we, as a human race, are falling short. Ways that we are gradually destroying the world around us and creating a world of hate, intollerance, violence, disrespect for each other and our natural resources, and an overall attitude of indifference towards it all. The "Words and Violence" curriculum is a first step in the direction of healing the scars on the face of humanity inflicted by an insensitive culture driven by self-interest and the desire for instant results in the age of a more advanced technology. If the younger generations can learn that the way we treat our fellow human beings has everything to do with the kind of world we create and the kind of world we inherit as adults, that world in which we raise our children and grandchildren, then we will have made great progress toward making the world a better place for their future!
I am proud and very excited to announce the release of the "Words and Violence" curriculum developed by Rev. Barbara Kaufmann of Inner Michael and several MJ fan contributors, including myself. Sponsored and published by non-profit organization, Voices Education Project, the curriculum includes many valuable resources, case studies and exercises to use in teaching middle school, high school and college level students about the impact of our words. The curriculum is available free of charge on the Voices Education Project website:
What prompted this curriculum was the horrifying realization after the death of...Michael Jackson, that the press perpetuated a protracted and disdainful portrait of someone who...was a global humanitarian and a champion of civil rights, human rights and the rights of children. An investigation into the lives and work of highly visible personalities like Lady Diana Spencer, Bill Clinton, Vince Foster and others revealed inhumane treatment and suffering inflicted by tabloid journalism and the resulting medialoid conversion of the mainstream press.
Michael Jackson followers will find several resources and case studies written specifically about him:
A Few of the Features of "Words and Violence" Michael, Diana and Bill as targets: WMD: Words as Weapons of Mass Destruction
I invite you to visit the site and browse through the curriculum. There are numerous other resources available unrelated to Michael that also provide essential tools for learning about the impact of words in our lives. If you are an educator or if you know someone who is, I strongly encourage you to recommend this curriculum! Pass these links along to all your friends and acquaintances on the internet. If there is a School of Journalism in your community, send it to them with a cover letter or better yet, deliver a copy of it in person! Anyone is free to use any part of the curriculum they choose - whatever suits their intended purpose. Also, please keep in mind that this is a work in progress. It is open to include additional resources if anyone is interested in contributing further to this imperative work.
This is one way we are making a difference in the world for Michael, by teaching future leaders, journalists, businessmen & women, politicians, lawyers, teachers, etc. the importance of our words and the integrity with which we live our lives and perform our jobs!
I am honored to have participated in the development of this valuable resource which was inspired by the lives and good works of Michael Joseph Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer. The Words and Violence curriculum is, therefore, dedicated to the memory of Michael and Diana.
With Love & Hope for a Better Tomorrow, ~ Charlene ~
"Words and Violence" Dedication
This work of art and love is dedicated to the memory of Michael Joseph Jackson and Lady Diana Spencer.
May your work on behalf of humanity finally be recognized for what it was—art in the service of humanity. May your memory be indelibly written on the face of humanity’s evolution toward its own brilliance and in the volumes that chronicle the journey toward a more humane narrative on this planet.
May the lives and gifts that you so generously gave to and for the humans on this globe be held in the highest honor and esteem they so richly deserve.
May we learn from the lessons you taught this world and may we also become worthy of your sacrifice.
May we soon come to understand that words can heal with the same magnitude that they harm. And may the children of the future learn that now from you.
Rest in peace gentle and magnanimous spirits. "We love you more."
This feature is reprinted from the Words and Violence Curriculum by
Been workin’ overtime Deadlines, paperwork, keeping it all straight No time for dreaming or saving the world No time for inspiration, it just has to wait
The necessities of life keep calling my name Have to stay focused on the task at hand Others are counting on me to get it right Hold it together until the work is done
Inner child, my beautiful dreamer The one who loves to sing and dance She believes in magic and moonbeams But she can’t see the light from where she waits The magical words cannot be heard Held hostage somewhere deep within Or suspended above just out of reach Restrained from gliding past her lips Withheld from flowing through pen onto paper
Creativity, that tenacious child tugging on my sleeve Longs for expression, needs to be heard She’s tired of the dark where she’s been hiding She wants to come out and play Stay in the light and share her joy Live her life fully every single day
No time to say “good mornin’, I love you” Touch base at the core and let you in Speak to me, tell me what I need to hear Your love is constant, I know it’s real Help me feel it through the din
That still small voice inside Has been silenced once again Too busy to listen Too tired to be aware But I know you are there So I speak to you briefly from my heart Tears stream from my eyes For this momentary glimpse A touch from you in the dark
Reminding me once again "Your speech, more beautiful and dense Expresses with the silence its sense" So this silence is golden It speaks to me of your love Your messages held within I must be still and pray Allow the silence to have its way
Before I express what’s laying on my heart "It’s got to sound good to me inside So I just think about it" Let it simmer and leave the door open wide For your voice to enter And give me the words I long to write
As I drive along in silence I hear your voice in song… "Someone put your hand out Beggin’ for your love All I do is hand out A heart that needs your love"
Then, as if on cue… A car pulls in front of me and the license plate reads URMYLV
Do you sometimes wonder how long Michael’s spirit will stay with you, touching your heart, giving you inspiration to keep going? Have you worried that when your grieving subsides, he will go away along with your pain? Do you cling to your grief in a desperate attempt to hang onto Michael and his love forever because you couldn’t imagine your life without him being there? Entering your dreams at night to comfort and remind you of his love and his sweet laughter. Singing a certain song to you at just the right moment to let you know he’s still there, responding to your questions and soothing your pain. Or perhaps, just to bring a smile to your heart.
I have certainly grappled with these questions and concerns off and on throughout this journey with Michael. In March I was experiencing some real conflict over these feelings, so I began writing about them in my journal. When I was finished with the entry, I realized that what I had written sounded very much like a dialogue between me and Michael, so the idea of transforming them into an exchange of Love Letters was born. I cherish these letters because even though Michael was not the author of his letters to me, I feel that his spirit was moving me as I wrote them, and he helped me to find resolution within my soul. I visit these letters whenever I find myself slipping back into that space of doubt and fear. Every time I read them, I still feel all the emotion that was poured into these words with a little help from Michael.
These Love Letters have been filed away with a group of my poems and writings that I have labeled “personal and private.” I honestly didn’t believe that I would ever share them with anyone. But Michael has moved me to do so now. I hope you will find some inspiration for your journey in the words Michael wrote on my heart…
Dear Michael,
I’m stuck…..I’m sorry I don’t want to disappoint you But I resist moving forward Because I fear I will lose you
I lost you before somewhere along the way And now that I’ve found you again I want you to stay
I’m hanging on for dear life Remaining in my grief sustains my plight The emotions I’m feeling keep me close To your love and everything about you I miss the most
I continue to feel your presence every day Your music, pictures, letters and books, all the sweet memories will stay Keeping me connected with you on this journey
So how do I continue and make myself worthy?
…Without losing you
Dear Charlene,
You can carry me in your heart without fear of losing me ever again! Remember that part of you inside you learned to ignore because it brought you much pain? That boldness, that drive to learn, to explore To shine, perfect, love and proclaim In the face of adversity When others didn’t agree… That’s ME in YOU, my love is without end!
Now that you know, you must let it show Or my light in you will fade I don’t want to leave, you have the power to save This precious love
I’ve shown you that boldness is a gift so rare Even if others don’t understand When practiced with humility, kindness and love They will want to take your hand!
I believe in you as you’ve believed in me Why else would I have chosen you to be my messenger? Be bold! The world awaits your lesson!
You will inspire others with your heart That part of me in you has been awakened Brought into the light from the dark As long as you hold that light out in front Up high for all to see Don’t hide it from the world, my love And you will never lose me! My essence, my being in you Depends on that light to shine Please, please give it all you’ve got So we can see this through ‘til the end of time
Dear Michael,
I think I understand it now I will do my best to make you proud If I feel myself slipping back To wrap myself and you in a bubble Safe and warm, no trouble I will remember your words to woo Keeping me from losing you In order to hold you I must be bold Step outside my comfort zone Go beyond my own limited thinking Project your light to keep this ship from sinking! Hold up the mirror for others to see Their own light….or darkness Whatever would be Motivating them to make that change Their goodness come forth, the world to save
Please don’t expect one hundred percent This is a journey Sometimes I’ll be spent, too tired to shine Old ways and feelings will take over from time to time
But I promise to pay respect that is due Your message to the world This is my cue
I LOVE you!!
Dear Charlene,
Always remember I LOVE you too More than you will ever know I am IN you - I KNOW you I’ll never leave you You are my sweet bird, my soul!
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His spirit abounds
